ANALOGIES TO LIFE

Isaiah 2- The DREAD of the Lord

2010-08-04T05:18:00.000-07:00

Three times in Isaiah chapter 2, it speaks of the Dread of the Lord... that one day every one will see the glory of His splendor and majesty and they will hide under rocks and caves from dread of the Lord.

And then it has the summation/application of that dread in verses 5 and 22. Or as one commentator puts it- the vision is translated into action.

verse 5- "Come, O house of Jacob, let us walk in the light of the LORD."

verse 22 (final verse of chapter)- "Stop trusting in man,who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?"

Let us let the splendor of His majesty lead us to walk in the light and stop trusting in man!

Commencing Studying Isaiah...

2010-07-31T04:30:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 1- God's Merciful Judgement

In our sin- we are ENEMIES and FOES of God- and he will discipline us for our own good and purification! (see vs 24-26)

"Therefore the Lord, the Lord almighty, the Mighty on of Israel declares: AH, I wll get relief from my FOES and avenge myself on my enemies (24). I will turn my hand against YOU (Israel, my children) and I will thouroughly purge away your dross and remove your impurities (25). I will restore your judges as days of old, your counselors as at the beginning. Afterward you will be called the City of Righteousness, the Faithful City."

He also says earlier-

"Your hands are filled with blood! WASH YOURSELF and make YOURSELF clean."

Utterly impossible- can bloodstains be removed out of white things? Even with bleach? Two verses down he says:

"Come- let us REASON together. Though your sins be as scarlet, they will be white as snow. Though they are like crimson, they shall be as wool."

Crimson and Scarlet, two uncleansable fast colors- US before a Holy and Righteous God, the HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL. Only cleansed through the precious blood of Jesus- the glorious gospel! AMEN.

The first post of 2010- Vanesa preaching to herself

2010-02-16T06:04:00.001-08:00

WOW. So I thought about starting a new blog with my new husband in 2010 (got married to the wonderful Jordan Minnick on Dec 19, 2009) but figured I might as well post today.

I am filled with such mixture of emotions that writing might be extraordinarily helpful right now... I am so thankful for Christ, hope, and the MANY blessings of this season. It does seem like we are being hit with trial after trial, and I am coming up lacking, immature, gold filled with dross- unpurified, weak, and foolish. Even my repentance and faith- so shallow! What an exciting exchange that changes all that I am with the perfect submission, obedience, worship, and purity of Jesus Christ! Glory to God for the gospel.

This ASK Pastor John was encouraging to me: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/MediaPlayer/3582/Audio/

Right now, I sit at home with a sinus infection, thoracic outlet symptoms, and Raynauds disease (all new!), wrestling with my own wicked heart and the James 4 desires that rage within me regarding my PT program and "investment" there... longing for submission to Christ, obedience, and true lasting repentance that actually makes me change and respond when I am convicted. Writing an email not to please men or just keep the peace/playcate people, but wanting my heart to be submission, not to be motivated to do it for my own end and benefit. O Wretched female that I am, who will rescue me from this body of death?

THANKS BE TO GOD, through Christ! Look to Christ! My sinful motives have been atones for by Another. Jesus died for all these sins! Jesus, the one who passed every test, who was tempted in every way but never sinned has stood in my place to be punished on my behalf. God forgives me and will help me, not because I am sinless but because He is merciful! Look to Christ, look to Christ. He is my perfection, my certainty and security in this season of unknowns (especially this week! I find out about redoing my case study/my continuing with PT, Jordan interviews for a job in Richmond, and we find out if he got into the masters program that would have us in China!)

The verses that come to mind are about serious trial and I feel guilty for even finding comfort in them! Its like this is such a small trial!! The outrage and pride for me to complain- I am still SO blessed, so provided for, have the gift of a wonderful husband to laugh with and encourage us both to perservere... but yet I think... though the fig tree may not blossom, yet I will praise Him. ;) IF only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men!

O GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD! I will glory in my Redeemer... whos priceless blood has ransomed me. Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails and hung him on that judgement tree. I will glory in my Redeemer who crushed the power of sin and death. My only Savior before a Holy Judge- the lamb who is my righteousness.

Lord please help me put my faith in action and believe and act upon what I know! I will glory in my Redeemer. My life he bought, my love he OWNS. I have no longings for another- Im satisfied in Him alone. (Lord make this true of me!) I will glory my Redeemer- His faithfulness my standing place... tho foes are mighty and rush upon me, my feet are firm held by his grace!

O God- I am in desperate need of you. Remind me, tell me in your Word again and again! Thank you for putting me in an age where I have the whole counsel of your Truth as a constant reminder and never let me ignore it or try to go without it. Draw me close, never let go...

Love Does Not Seek Its Own (by John Piper)

2009-10-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

"Love does not seek its own."

I don't think this means that it is wrong to want to be happy. Because in verse 3 Paul argues that if you don't love, it profits you nothing. So it's not wrong to want the right kind of profit. What he's saying is that love does not seek its own personal, private preference without reference to what may be good for other people. Love seeks its joy and its profit in the good of others, not just in private gratification.

When Paul says, "Love seeks not its own," he is not saying that you shouldn't stand up for your own convictions—he died for his convictions. He is saying that you must be sure that the strength of your conviction is in proportion to the conviction being God's not just yours. To the degree that your preference is yours and not compellingly found in God's Word, to that degree should you be slow to seek it, and slow to get angry when others don't share it. "Love seeks not its own." It seeks the good of the many, not just the comfort of self.

So if we are going to love, we are going to have to die to "our own." Love seeks not its own. What does it do? It dies to its own. "Unless a grain of wheat fall into the ground and die it remains alone, but if it dies [to its own] it bears much fruit."

Therefore glorify God in your body and do not satisfy the lusts of your flesh...

2009-09-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

I have been WRESTLING lately with so much SIN!
Such a sinful girl and so unaware of it until very recently... o the extent of my depravity! These respectable DAILY sins and things I am so accostomed to doing without conviction.

Our heavenly Father SEES what is done in secret and rewards us accordingly.
He is also a jealous God... of ANYTHING that I love more than Him.
Any thing I want more than I want to obey Him....

Do I want to speed or send and read text messages rather than obey His Word when he tells me to submit to the governing authorities?

Do I want to complain and vent rather than obey His Word when he tells me to do everything without complaining? O but I really just need to right now... I want to.

Do I want to slouch, criticize, text and talk through class rather than be a light in a dark place and walk displaying a changed heart? Or are my unregenerate classmates more honoring in their behavior?

Do I want just something else to munch on more than I desire to display His Spirits fruit in my life and be self controlled? Do I desire buying an afternoon coffee or treat more than I desire to honor Him with my finances?

Do I want to hug and hold my wonderful fiance just one minute more or do I want to keep myself from even a hint of sexual immorality, help him, and keep my thoughts on Phil 4:8- what is PURE and lovely, honorable and fitting???

O these questions! O these areas that have LONG been inconsistencies in my life in need of addressing... I am GLAD to serve a jealous God who doesn't want me to want these fleeting pleasures more than I desire to obey His wonderful Word!

I have been SAVED out of this wretched behavior that I maintain for so long. The conviction is here.... Please encourage me, do not let me be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin in these small areas. May I CHOOSE to obey God and never choose the fleeting pleasure of sin.

awww Tim....

2009-09-03T06:05:00.000-07:00

This morning getting ready- I was listening to Tim McGraw sing about the problem we all face with our sin nature.... Tim blames it and says- 'I Guess thats just the cowboy in me..." It honestly made me SAD to hear it... It shows the gospel and the law of God is written on the hearts of men, but what is the conclusion of man apart from the revalation of truth in the Word? No Tim, its not the cowboy in you, its the SINNER in you! Its the sinful nature in all of us, our natural bent that we are no longer enslaved to because of the glorious news of the gospel!

"We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin." (Rom 6:6)

Tim McGraw- The Cowboy in Me
I don't know why I act the way I do
Like I aint got a single thing to lose
Sometimes Im my own worst enemy
I guess thats just the cowboy in me

I got a life that most would love to have
But sometimes I still wake up fighting mad
At where this road Im heading down might lead
I guess thats just the cowboy in me

The urge to run, the restlessness
The heart of stone I sometimes get
The things Ive done for foolish pride
The me thats never satisfied
The face thats in the mirror when I dont like what I see
I guess thats just the cowboy in me

I have been divinely gifted with grace

2009-08-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

No God but Allah???

2009-08-03T15:03:00.001-07:00

1 Cor 8:6
"Yet for us there is but ONE God, the Father, from whom all things came and FOR whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and THROUGH whom we live!"

I seriously want to write a song. O LORD there is no one like you!
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-nAdVWDtmU&feature=related

This is beautiful.

2009-08-02T05:29:00.000-07:00

"For all things are yours. Whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future- all are yours, and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's." (1 Cor 3:21-22)

Matthew Henry says:
Observe the spiritual riches of a true believer: All are yours, even ministers and ordinances. Nay the world itself is yours. Saints have as much of it as Infinite Wisdom sees fit for them. Life is yours, that you may have season and opportunity to prepare for heaven, and death is yours, that you may go to the possession of it. Things present are yours, to support you on the road; and things to come are yours, to delight you forever at your journey's end. If we belong to Christ, and are true to Him- all good things belong to us. God in Christ, reconciling a sinful world to himself, and pouring out the riches of his grace on the reconciled world, is the sum and substance of the gospel.

Im engaged!

2009-07-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful for he cannot deny himself." (2 Tim 2:13)

I got engaged this past Sunday, July 5th! WOW- what a privilege. I have since been contemplating marriage and reading a little about unfaithful brides (Ezekial 16, Jeremiah 3, Hosea 2...) Faithfulness is a beautiful thing to study and maybe one of the strongest attributes of God that we often miss. He IS faithfulness, regardless of our halfhearted committment. I hope to be a faithful bride to my new husband and also to my first husband, Christ!

OK, so the brides. ;) They all have in common that they have THE perfect husband, but they are still not content!

"Thus says the Lord- What wrong did your fathers find in me that they went far from me, and went after worthlessness and became worthless?" (Jeremiah 2:5)

Not a thing wrong! IMPOSSIBLE! Christ is the only perfect man who STILL cannot keep our attention. We are SICK people. I love Jer 3:19- it is a SIN for us to forsake seeking Him! "Know and see that it is evil and bitter for you to forsake the Lord your God."

They are filled with needs, lusts, and idolatry. In Hosea 2- 'For she said- I will go after my lovers who give me my bread and my water, my wool, and my flax, my oil and my drink..." Forsaking the fountain of LIVING water for these lovers, forsaking food that truly SATISFIES (Isaiah 55:1-2) God please make me filled, satisfied, and content with you alone.

THIS is love:
"Go again, loving a woman who is an adulterous, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, thought they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins." (Hosea 3:1)

Lord... this love blows my mind.... May I remember your undying, faithful, covenant love forever and ever. May I sing praise to you and have a heart that draws near to you! Amen.

SO FUNNY! Right after I wrote this, I checked out a friends blog and she had this O SO FITTING sermon posted from Piper entitled- The tragic cost of her cavernous thirst. Check it out: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2009/3999/

You just don't understand!!!

2009-06-24T18:25:00.001-07:00

The next time I say or think that statement to myself, Im going to instantly repent... and hopefully LAUGH at my own foolishness out in the open.

Understanding IS awesome... and I think thats why the Lord gives us little glimpes of it. When I work full time, I can sympathize with my roommate or friends or future husband when he comes home tired. When I have children, I can sympathize with the new mothers not getting any time to get things done... But I will never be able to fully understand. AND I will NEVER EVER be able to understand the suffering my Savior went through on the cross... the rejection, the pain, the physical torture, the alienation from God. No wonder we were destined for trials- so we can have the tiniest glimpse of pain producing true APPRECIATION.

I was able to go for a run this evening (Praise God- seriously, nothing recharges me and fires me up to keep going quite like it. I really feel like God speaks to me as I run...) and the Lord just flooded me with conviction. I have been going around telling everyone who will listen-(complaining) 'Well I have been having to wake up at 5 am! And not get much sleep and then work hard all day without a break...'
STOP and think Vanesa! About my boyfriend who went like a week getting 2-3 hrs of sleep, my roommate who didn't sleep at ALL last night, John and Jamie not getting any sleep because of crying babies from 2-5 am, my poor sweet MOTHER who never sleeps through the night because of her back pain...

Its such a popular lie of the devil- he really wants us to think that we are by ourselves and no one has it as bad off as we do- self pity... We pity ourselves and we think, if they only truly understood my situation, they would pity me too! I have it so much harder than they do... they don't even understand what its like. When we ALL have trials, whatever the age, whatever the season- EVERY human has a 'hard' life. "I have seen the burden God has laid upon man..." (Ecc) I was talking to a friend whos mom thinks that they have the perfect life... I wonder how many times people have looked and me and thought that...

The devil wants us to put ourselves on a pedestal- whether its in how great we have it or how hard we have it- EITHER one is a lie.
"When they compare themselves by themselves- they are unwise!" -2 Cor 10:12
Forgive me Lord!

EXPOSED!

2009-06-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

Been contemplating the Genesis account of nakedness and shame...
"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." (Hebrews 4:13)

"Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed." (John 3:20)

"But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." (Ephesians 5:13-15) Shine on me Lord!

"So now I will expose her lewdness before the eyes of her lovers; no one will take her out of my hands." (Hosea 2:10)

Its amazing how self righteousness keeps you from understanding and appreciating the gospel... The gospel exposes you for what you are- a WRETCHED sinner! I have become astutely aware of my own wretchedness recently. Its amazing that I wasn't really so aware before! I thought I was allright...

Even I was thinking as I was praying... And this thought actually crossed my mind. Wow- is God even hearing my prayer because of my sin? Or has this seperated me and kept him from hearing my prayers? The TRUTH, the GOSPEL is that my sin ALWAYS seperates me from him and keeps him from hearing my prayers. The ONLY way I can come before the throne of a perfect God (and with boldness according to Heb 4:16!) is because of the blood of Christ. How bout when I think, 'I should fast and pray about that.' Thinking that somehow, me fasting will make God hear me more, or cause him to act more because of my performance pleasing Him. Heb 5:7 says that when Jesus prayed, His prayers were heard because of His reverent submission! Im so glad that MY prayers are heard because of HIS reverent submission!

Jordan has given me a newfound love and appreciation for the Psalms- He has helped me read them with a gospel perspective! Because David OFTEN refers to his own righteousness works, deeds, clean hands, etc. Or blessed is the righteous man... I used to foolishly think somehow I could apply those to myself! That I was the righteous man and not the wicked man... even I grew up reciting Psalm 1. I am not the righteous man- Christ is.... I am the wicked man!!! But because of God's great love, there was a SUBSTITUTION of the righteous for the wicked. And PRAISE BE TO GOD that now... because of Christ all of Gods promises are YES to me through Him!!! All those Psalms speaking of what benefits and security the righteous man have- those are mine! How can you not love the gospel? How can I keep from singing his praise?

The Idols of My Heart

2009-06-07T19:02:00.000-07:00

John Calvin says- "The human heart is an idol factory." We were made to worship!

Jeremiah 4:10-13 says- "My people have committed 2 sins. They have forsaken me, the fountain of pure water, and dug for themselves broken cisterns that cannot hold any water at all."

So many times we look to other things apart from Christ for our satisfaction and joy. The temporal is so tempting. So many times we buy the lie that this will fill us and bring us the happiness we long for.

Its interesting how all the idols are similar for most of us. I feel like most of mine are very common to most WOMEN in this culture. These are not on the throne of my life- God is! Glory to Him- but they do raise their head at times to try and usurp his authority, rule, and throne. They want my heart, they want my affection, my time, and my satisfaction.
Some of the things that I personally need to be on guard against from becoming idols in my life:

Physical Appearance/Beauty- Especially in my family- this is a huge priority among the women and very emphasized by my mom, sister, grandma, etc. I wonder if its in the Jewish identity...)

Exercise- Most people have to discipline themselves to exercise... I have to discipline myself NOT to exercise... I would rather spend my time training for a triathlon than using my time some other way. I truly love it, my mind loves it, and my body loves it. One day- prescription of it will be the basis of my career... Its good for me, but I really need to make sure that it is a form of rest that recharges me and helps me love God more and serve Him better.)

Food- YUM. May this be a pleasure that causes me to love and appreciate God more... not a pleasure in the sake of it, as an end in itself.

Shopping/Clothes/Money- Yes. I can enjoy shopping for the glory of God- IF I have the money... ;) The Lord is really working on me here. I remember as a child getting a horrific haircut a few days before I was supposed to start at a brand new school in the 9th grade... I was balling and my mom took me shopping 'because it makes everything better.' (not to in any way blame my precious and most amazing mother!) Now what happens if I have a bad day? Is my refuge in the storm going shopping, or is it Jesus Christ?

Sleep- I love getting 8 hours of sleep... ;) Praise God he made us to rest AND that I have a gift of being ABLE to fall asleep and sleep when most people cannot. But may I not neglect things or be lazy or avoid facing things by sleeping instead.

Independence/Autonomy- This is a HUGE one for me... and why marriage scares me so bad. I like to go where I want, do what I want, when I want to do it. I like that my time is my own and I can somewhat control it. It can really be the epitome of selfishness.

Relational Intimacy/Connectedness- This can be with a man/desire for marriage, or just in relationships with people. I have a really high value on communicating with people and I really value deep close friendship and relationships. What a great gift! But if I don't have it, what then? Can I rejoice not in this, but that my name is written in the lamb's book of life?

FUN- This is another one I think I struggle with more than most. I really value having fun. God made me with personality and a love for laughter and a good time. This also really runs in my family. No one can throw a better party than my sister... we love it. I love enjoying life. What happens when you get in the way of me having fun? When serving you is infringing on my good time? When you aren't entertaining me or making me laugh?? Will I grumble? Will I seek someone elses company? Go on to the next best thing? Find something more fun- the next big thrill?

Glory to God- these are all good things!!! I worship him for these things! I thank him for them. It would be ludicrous to try and say they are bad. But....
"When a good thing becomes a God thing- It becomes a bad thing."
Lord- by your grace ALONE may I thank you for these things but not worship them. May I see them as gifts and not needs. May they be considered loss for the surpassing greatness of knowing you!

Its June and Im THANKFUL

2009-06-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

I am so very thankful for my trip to Honduras!
I am also very thankful to live in America, where we surround ourselves with comfort to the max.

It was almost humorous to me when I entered Dulles airport and found myself freezing from the excessive A/C. We have comforts on top of comforts. And just the INDEPENDENCE to do whatever I want all the time... I want Starbucks? OK- lets go get in my personal, air conditioned vehicle and go buy one. I find myself eating such variety (compared to 3 daily meals of beans and rice) and just in AWE of how gourmet my diet is- literally! It literally has been odd going around, resuming life, after being surrounded by poverty. God is working in my heart and I love it.

My roommate for the trip, Meredith, sums it up well in her blog:
"While I was taking it the beauty of this trip, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt that I have the opportunity to travel to these amazing places. Most Hondurans probably have not even seen the beauty of the islands in their own country. Before I left for Honduras, my grandma made a comment that she is glad we have these opportunities because when she was growing up, driving an hour to Richmond was really something big. It hit me in the gut. How do I reconcile all of my opportunities with the fact that other people don’t have the same options? Where is the balance between enjoying these gifts and not feeling the need to justify them?
I’ve been reading through Ecclesiastes and trying to understand these verses as I reconcile the the things I love such as traveling and dancing with burden I feel to spend my time doing things that aren’t so self-serving."

My mentor sent me an email over a year ago that really has stuck with me!!! She says:
"Comforts are not satantic, but there are satanic comforts. Think about it this way, pick something in your mind, I’ll use sex as an example—sex between me and my husband is good in God’s eyes. Sex between two unmarried people, not good; rape—NOT GOOD. Should we abstain from sex because it can be abused or can be something some people stumble with? No. There is even a time when Peter warns that in the last days “godly” people will tell you to abstain from sex and food. That is against God’s glory, not for it. Other examples: Rest—created by God! Sabbath, ahhh, rest from work. Laziness, bad. Friendship, yeah that was God’s idea too! How refreshing that can be to my soul! Trusting in men rather than God, bad. Hiking in the woods? Yes, I do that to the glory of God. Sex, yes—within marriage, my sex life is relaxing, fun, pleasurable, and brings great comfort to my soul, and my body…all to the glory of God! Food, feasting, dinner parties, brunches, tea parties…you name it, these too can bring glory to God, and Jesus Himself was a partaker in many a feast and dinner party. Feasting of course has its place, gluttony does not—we are to be good stewards of these bodies. Having a home? God knows our needs, He knows what we are made of, shelter is important to Him, and a home in which we can be hospitable, this is important to Him too. Working out? Excellent! Being obsessed with my image? Horrible. I hope this is enough to show that many good things can be abused, but being comfortable is not a sin—unless our comfort is found outside of Him. So how do we obtain that “unshakeable confidence that the joy we have tasted in Christ will not disappoint us in death." Be in His Word. Pray about Joy, about desires, etc. Thanksgiving—spend some time each day in genuine thanksgiving, read John 15:11, 17:13, Hebrews 13:14, And then Psalm 57 –ask yourself, what was David thankful for, when, and how did he express it? Note: the Hebrew word translated “lovingkindness” really means “covenant loyalty love.” Then read ? Psalm 69, and focus on vs. 30-32. What does thanksgiving do to your heart?"

I had a seriously phenomenal walk with a dear friend yesterday (gonna dub it the encouraging walk)... ;) We were talking about how gratitude is like our sword at the devil. When he throws something at us, and we are like THANK YOU because I know God is going to use that for my good. What does that do to the devil? Can you imagine everything you tried to use to discourage someone they thanked you for it???

Colossians 4:2 "Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving..." And Philippians 4- "Rejoice always, and again I say to you- rejoice!"

HOWEVER... while I do think that gratitude is the answer for the MANY gifts I have been given. (O Lord may I never complain about one single thing! Seriously. SICK- how dare I?) I also pray that my eyes would not only see and give thanks.... but joyfully SHARE the numerous blessings with those around me. True gratitude I think says- I have been blessed beyond belief. WOW. Praise God... I WANT to share because I have way more than I need. Not because I feel guilty that God has chosen to bless me, but because I have such a great GIFT! How great a salvation! I think its the same principle with evangelism... I dont understand why God sovereignly chose to save me! But I dont share with others out of guilt because I have been given that gift, but I share because Im overflowing with thanksgiving.

Right now I am. Remind me and encourage me when Im not!
There was a spanish billboard in the airport on a layover of the radical Chi (sp?) that said:
If Im going forward, follow me. If I stop moving- push me forward, and if I go backward, kill me. I feel like that in a way. May I never go backward, and when I slow, please push me with reminders.

PS- Speaking of spanish, I have already forgotten a lot of espanol. ;( YIKES.

Live from CNN, literally

2009-05-28T06:22:00.000-07:00

Last night we were woken up to our whole house shaking... I looked at Meredith and said- "Dude is that wind?" To which she replied- "But our house is made out of concrete!" ;)

Turns out it was an earthquake- 7.1 on the Richter scale, and the country of Honduras was placed on a Tsunami alert. We were told to leave our beds and we hung out outside in the street for a while before we were allowed to go back to bed. I got some pretty good video footage. ;)

Anywho. God is big and powerful. And its the morning with no real nasty affects here. And to any of you who actually heard about it in the US, Im A-OK. Love you!

How to pray for Honduras

2009-05-26T14:42:00.000-07:00

I have a friend doing a presentation on Honduras and he asked me if there were any special challenges for prayer for the country and this is what I wrote to him... I thought it would be good to post so people could know how to pray for the country. This weekend I got to spend with some missionaries so it opened my eyes a bit and gave me some more understanding:

I think some special challenges for prayer is for the churches that have started to know truth and be free from deception. None of the pastors have any training so its very easy to be misled. I think some of them have seen televangelists also and think that that is how they are supposed to act and lead and imitate that... The missionaries have a big challenge trying to be a light in much darkness, and then just the typical barriers. Also the ignorance! Many people cannot READ at all so Bible study and knowledge is very limited... much less any kind of in depth Bible study... they will never have access to a commentary or anything in Greek would be so unheard of. Those are all huge privileges we have when we study our Bibles. Also there is much nominal Christianity AND catholicism and very few true believers. There is a sense of a Sodom and Gamorrah lifestyle- like the glamorized MTV spring break type of thing... A culture where girls getting pregnant around 12-15 is normal and marriage is RARE.

An additional thing to note is that the few Hondurans that have been discipled want to leave and be missionaries elsewhere! The missionaries train them up and then they want to go to another country, when they could have so much more influence with their own people!

Its so hot here its not even funny... I spend all day every day dripping sweat. Yesterday it was 111 degrees! MUY DISGUSTIVO. On that note- over and out!

The pursuit of enjoyment

2009-05-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

If you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christians of old, he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love.

The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire. If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

-CS Lewis, the weight of glory

I have some of the wisest friends a girl can have...

2009-05-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

Check out this awesome quote from an email I got from a dear dear friend:
"Sweet friend of mine. When I find myself in positions in which I have placed myself and then find myself truly not enjoying it...I ask myself these same questions that arose from your e-mail. Just as quickly as I find myself noting the patterns of SELF in the past sentence do I realize that most of my efforts and decisions were probably not prayerfully considered or thoughtfully made. As it turns out- I did the thing/move/adventure/conversation/all of it... by my SELF and ultimately am now miserable by myself and all efforts to appease the fiasco are not satisfactory because of SELF."

Day #11 Smatterings

2009-05-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

This morning I got to go to the dump school and help teach kids some english words and play with them... it was so funny to see myself in them! It is so hard to articulate other languages. Think about the word 'grapes'- its pretty hard to say! The kids were like GraPPSSSSS. And one little girl told me her name at least ten times. I kept repeating it and she kept laughing and saying no! and repeating it. I could have sworn I was saying exactly what she was.

One little child's name was Adonai... I got excited and tried to explain that 'Adonai is tambien un nombre para Dios' Im not sure if he understood me or not... or if I somehow made him think that he was a god or something. I hope not! O Espanol...

And speaking of the mixups... Last night on the way home from classes- we saw a sign that said Pinateria. Pina is spanish for pineapple so I was excited... thiking this was going to be some sort of Cafeteria of pineapples. ;) I convinced mi amigas to go check it out with me and alas the store was filled with children's toys. Ay. Pinateria was a PINATA eria... The place filled with pinatas. ;)

Hasta Luego.

He knows my weaknesses

2009-05-19T11:26:00.000-07:00

I am encouraged by HUMANITY....

Im encouraged by seeing that others are the same as me and struggle as I do. People who seem to have it all together do not appeal to me- I love real, authentic faith.

When my pastor says that 'his spiritual life looks like the stock market over the last few months- more downs than ups'...

When Jim Elliot's journals speak of his desire for physical intimacy.

When Elizabeth Elliot speaks of her studying Quichua (one of the conditions Jim placed on her to achieve prior to marriage) compared to her aquisition of the Spanish language for Bible translation, she says- "For while spanish held out to me eternal rewards, the learning of Quichua held a clearcut temporal one by which I am afraid I was more powerfully motivated."

AYE Humanity... That is why the study of psychology, anthropology, even the reading of biographies are so fascinating... we long for people as examples and role models, that are somehow superhuman but at the same time are just like us...

So glad I have that description in a Savior! "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who was tempted in every way, just as we are- yet without sin." (Heb 4:15)

No need to wonder why gossip magazines are so popular- "Stars- they're just like you!"

Im so glad my heavenly Father knows my flesh and loves me anyways.
Psalm 78- "Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath. He remembered that they were but FLESH."

And speaking of flesh- yesterday all three of us estudiantes de espanol hit a serious wall. Como se dice- CRANKY. Mi amiga is going to blog about that so I will just leave the articulation up to her.
And the spanglish humor for day #10- I told mi profesora that I had a "Onda" because in Honduras everything all H's are silent... ;) She laughed at me for at least 3 minutes. Apparently Honda is still Honda. ;)

WOW- I feel like my writing was already bad before I came down here but it seems to have gotten worse. I now speak broken English... My sentences have to communicate a point and fast- only subjects and verbs. ;)

Hola De Honduras

2009-05-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

Day Cinco.

I have Spanglish down to a serious art form now. I know just enough to be dangerous. We are starting to make a list of the things I say to people because its pretty entertaining.
Today I asked the pharmacist for rotten eggs.
I wanted to buy a little girl a treat at the store and I said- "Tu quieres? Yo consado." Meaning- You want Im tired.
The best to date was when I told mi profesora de espanol that I danced with HER boyfriend instead of saying I danced with my boyfriend. ;)

Today we had class a la playa (beach) and it was gorgeous. Im very thankful for my sweet professor. Her name is Elvia and she doesn't speak one word of English. I really feel like Im a child learning a language for the first time, or a missionary learning a language that hasn't been learned before. We walked around the beach and she would point to sand and say- arena... or a bug and say insepto... Im doing a lot of non verbal communication and using pictures. ;) I have been praying a ton for the missionaries I know, especially Sarah trying to learn Japanese!

Wanted to write out some things that Im thankful for- there are so MANY! In addition to the many attributes of God, my salvation and redemption, grace, a BIBLE, and all the other truly important things, there are many unimportant things as well:
1- My name! ;) Vanesa is the perfect name for a spanish speaking country. I fit right in. Thanks mom.
2- My hair. Its big. My health, my legs, $, growth, and a FAN in my room! I praise God for that fan.
3- Three meals of beans, rice and tortillas a day provided, as well as as much bottled water as I can drink- provided gratis. AND today because its Meredith's 25th birthday- we had chocolate cake for breakfast! It was delicious. I do feel the need for an orange though- its a running joke that I talk about developing rickets. Thank God for vitamin C ;) And just for friends here and great laughs.
4- Internet! We have a computer IN our home! The internet works about every other day but its still such a blessing not to have to pay for it or go to an internet cafe.
5- A huge room and a wonderful roommate to share it with. AND even though our bathroom is infested with cockroaches, the shower is cold, and we have to put our hand in the toilet tank everytime we want to flush- I am EXTREMELY thankful that we have our OWN bathroom IN our room! That is huge... and there is a little shelf in there so we can put our stuff on it. Its really a great privilege
6- Tomorrow being laundry day

God is so good. And His word says Godliness with contentment is great gain. I love Phil 4 that Paul says I KNOW what its like to be in need and have plenty, whether well fed or hungry- I can do all through Christ who gives me strength. Im glad I can add that I KNOW what its like to be in these additional situations
whether hot or cold
whether clean or dirty
whether straight or curly
whether with Jordan or without him ;)
whether in the USA or Honduras...
I can do all through Jesus Christ. And its truly not even hard (see the many thanksgivings/blessings above...)

OK off to shower before our nightly salsa dancing lesson. Right now Im a wonderful mix of sunscreen, bug spray, dust, and sand.
Adios!

I have the sweetest boyfriend

2009-05-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

I am officially done my 2nd year of PT school! My sweet boyfriend took me out to the Cheesecake factory last night to celebrate... ;)

It was great but I was just was thinking how much I value his attention... and how that translates to our relationship with the Lord. If Jordan JUST spent money on me but never gave me his time... or never gave me his attention, if he never talked about me to other people or said kind words to/about me... I wouldn't be satisfied no matter how much money he spent on me. Or if he spent time with me every day but never spent a dime- I would wonder about his affection.

If I spent all my time serving at the church but never gave the Lord my tithe- what am I valuing more than Him... Or if I gave all my money, but never spent time with Him- I do not love Him! If I didn't do what he asks of me in His Word... it would be like Peter. "If you love me- feed my lambs." LOVE TRULY IS ALL ENCOMPASSING. Lord let me not withold anything from you that is rightfully due you! My time, my money, my affection, my obedience, your praise!

Nothing profound. Just on the mind... Short and sweet. :) Heading to Honduras in 2 days! ;)

From John Owen

2009-05-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

"Because He himself suffered when tempted, he is able to forever help those who are being tempted." (Heb 2:18)

Did the suffering of Christ add to his ability to help? Is that why he has the power to help us- because He also was tempted? NO! The ability mentioned here is his readiness to come to our aid against all opposition. He is able to break through all reasons to the contrary and relieve poor tempted souls. Having suffered Himself, He is MOVED to help."

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sumpathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in a time of need." (4:16)

Happy Birthday Vanesa ;)

2009-04-29T06:06:00.001-07:00

Wow I've blogged a lot in April. ;)
I am 25 today. WOW. Exciting! I have so much joy today because I have been redeemed!
"Remember these things- I formed you and you are my servant. You will not be forgotten by me. I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like a mist! Return to me for I have redeemed you. SING O heavens for the Lord has done this! Shout for joy o depths of the earth! Burst forth in singing o mountains. O forest and every tree in it for the Lord has redeemed you!"

"I am he who blots out your transgressions, and for my own sake I will not remember your sins."

"Thus saith the Lord God who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it. I am the Lord and I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you..."

I love celebrations and gifts, friends and family, parties and dinners. But whatever today brings I don't rejoice that I was born and that I get to forget my troubles today or party it up- Or even that I have been given another year to live. WAY more than that- I have been given a year to live not under condemnation! Who would want to live a year seperated from God? A year to live in communion with my Savior- I am no longer under God's wrath! EXULT! Rejoice and be exceedingly glad. For God made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God! AMEN AND HALLELUJAH!

"Is there a God besides me? There is no Rock; I know not any."
If my all knowing God doesn't know of any... I certainly don't!

PS- It is interesting to note that in Scripture the only birthday celebrations that are mentioned are Pharoah and Herod... not that I am in any way suggesting or not advocating birthday celebrations and feasting- I am so excited for that today. BUT just a nugget of thought. ;)

"Let go, Let God"

2009-04-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

Our friends Dave and Morgan are trying to raise money to be missionaries to East Asia with Campus Crusade for Christ. They have 70% of the money that they need... and they need 80% by May 1st (only another about 600 dollars a month in support) I am so excited for them and if you can help or know anyone who would like to support them in the next 3 days- please contact Morgan at morgan.zinn@gmail.com

Shameless plug over. ;)

But as I was praying for them this morning, the Lord really impressed it on my heart how hard they were working to make contacts and bring in this support. Especially now during this deadline crunch. They are working as hard as they can, making contacts, sharing their presentation, praying, and enlisting the help of others also. And when they get their money all in on May 1st- no one would even dream of giving the glory to anyone but God or say that it would have been more trusting to just pray and sit there waiting for the Lord to bring in the money! I cant wait to see it come in and how God will do it!

But how many times when it comes to discipline in our lives or other areas we just pray and 'trust' and decide not to work? Even as a single I know people would always tell me just to pray and wait for God to bring him to you. I think that is so silly! That doesn't apply in any other area of life. Concentrates self effor does not discount the work of the Lord- it is how he accomplishes his plan! May I not ever say- 'let go, let God', but work with all of my might for His glory in my life!

What about open/closed doors... Would anyone say- well this is a closed door for them, they must not be called to East Asia. NO!! When you know your purpose- if the door is closed, you open them! You look for a window! Lord confirm your purposes and show me your calling on my life fully so I can diligently work and pursue it with my whole heart! (Anna this reminds me some of the editing job that you really believed was Gods purpose for you with your gifts and strengths- praise God!)

Lord thank you for allowing us to be an active part of your work and play active roles even in our own sanctification. Remind us to work hard and not give up!

Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you

2009-04-27T05:17:00.000-07:00

Last night I was talking with my roommate about a teenager whose parents are really trying everything they possibly can to get them to love the Lord, but the child's heart is cold.

Getting married and having children are two of the greatest exercises in faith I could ever think of. You are opening yourself up to be severely affected by another person that you cannot control. As a single- you can somewhat control what you do and what happens.

The decision to marry, only by God's grace strength, is SUCH trust. I cannot control the actions or heart of another- all I can do is pray! You can strive your hardest to be a good wife, take care of yourself, be obedient, follow all the psychological tips- but that doesn’t mean your husband wont leave you. Or even you hear stories of women who thought that they married dynamic Godly men who turned out to not even know the Lord and fall away.

Same with parenting- you can strive to the best of your ability to raise your kids up to know and fear the Lord… but you cannot control their hearts or how they turn out. No amount of discipleship, homeschooling/isolation, family time/devotions, even father involvement neccessarily- assures you that your kids will love Jesus. We do not regenerate- God does!

O Lord increase my faith and trust and prayer! Entrusting all decisions and the people I love to my faithful creator and the one who judges justly! (1 Peter 2:23) He not only knows the future- He controls it!

“I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.” (2 Tim 1:12)

Its a slow fade... be on guard!

2009-04-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

The pathway to addiction is a slow one, occuring over time.

This is evident in the newfound love I have discovered for coffee...

O the analogy... It started as a once in a while pleasure, becoming more and more frequent as I developed a taste for it. Then came the rationalization that I should purchase my own maker so that I stop spending so much money on it... and now its so easy to enjoy a cup at anytime!

I truly do love it and feel like I can enjoy it for the glory of God. Just because it has potential for bad doesn't mean I should never drink it, but I need to be on guard! Right now Im drinking decaf to keep me from developing an actual physical addiction. I know it seems silly, but I know without a proper plan and boundaries, I could easily become addicted. I really need to maintain all vigilence... especially now that its so easy and accessible to keep from falling into a vat of coffee beans face first. ;)

"Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap." (Luke 21:34)

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! (1 Cor 10:12)

Be very careful, then, how you live -- not as unwise but as wise," (Eph 5:15)

Thank you Lord for your Word

2009-04-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

Can you read the bottom of this ad? It reads- "If you really want to touch someone send them a letter."

Help me- I haven't got handles on this one yet...

2009-04-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

"The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband." (1 Cor 7:4)

Im thinking about this verse in relationship to me and all of us being the Bride of Christ... my body belonging to another...
ie- "You are not your own, you were bought with a price, therefore honor God with your body."

Does this work in the fact that it says ALSO? Its not mine only but both of ours? Does that also carry over into the picture of my body being Christs? Is it His alone or is it both of ours? And what does that look like? What does it mean for it to be both husband and wifes in a marriage setting? CO-OWNERSHIP... not in the way like a divorced agreement, you get it 1/2 the time and I get it 1/2 the time... 50% of the time we do what I want, and the rest we can do what you want with it. Seriously- Hmmmm.
This 'co' bit. Not only am I a co-owner, I am a co-heir with Christ!
Does a co-heir mean we each get a part or we each get all?
WOW. Its late- I need to go to bed. ;)
But my mind is full and reeling on this one. I think its way deeper than I bargained for at this time of night. Any comments are appreciated.

I have the most perfect husband in the whole world- why did he choose for himself an adulterous bride? To further magnify His goodness... glory be to God!

Lest I forget

2009-04-09T18:56:00.000-07:00

Last night I had an opportunity to share with some people the MIRACLE of me getting into PT school. I know I have blogged about the miraculous and mundane before but it was just reemphasized to me tonight. My friend Kata is taking the GRE tomorrow, and I was praying for her while running, and thanking God for getting me into school and he just really spoke to me.

It is SO much easier to give God glory for the miracles he does. Its like the Pharisees... 'Lord- we want to see a miracle from you...' (Matt 12, 1 Cor 1:22) I really pray to remember his provision and his grace in the so called mundane. The Dueteronomy 8 theme- 'do not let me say that my hands have gotten this success for me!'

Lets say that I so called 'rightfully earned' my way into PT school. Lets say I met the requirements and deadline (I didn't), had the highest GPA in the class (didn't) and was the most qualified- EVERY single aspect of that would still be enabled from the hand of the Lord. I did do well on the GRE, glory to GOD for without Him who can do ANYTHING!!! The mind was given to me as a gift from Him, the legs to move around, the parents (a dad with a ridiculous vocabulary who used the word defacate instead of poop when I was growing up), the money to pay the fee- the hands to earn the money, the ears to hear the alarm to wake up on the morning of the GRE, the car to drive to take the GRE- even the QUESTIONS that I got on the GRE... the specific vocabulary words that I happened to know- its ALL grace.

Last night we learned at a passover feast the word Dayenu, meaning 'it would have been enough.' Anything beyond the eternity in Hell I deserve would have been enough! God giving me His Son would have been plenty to keep me forever indebted and eternally grateful. It would have been enough for him to put me in a Christian home and have opporunity to hear the gospel. That I have a brain and can think- dayenu! Being able to walk even and RUN and READ His Word- Dayenu! That I have a wonderful roommate and place to live, food, clothing- dayenu! Parents, friends, and a boyfriend that love me- dayenu! Making it into PT school- dayenu! Being able to finance PT school- dayenu! Being able to pass tests and stay in school- dayenu! O Lord- GRACE UPON GRACE FLOWS DOWN. Thank you Lord for your grace so undeserved! It is equally as evident in the miraculous and the mundane. May you get the glory for either and thank you for allowing me to be used sometimes in the process...

I seriously learn more while running than when going to church...

2009-04-09T18:42:00.001-07:00

"Physical softness inevitably leads to spiritual softness." -Jerry Bridges

OFTEN when running I will say that Im going to do a certain distance or time- and then I tell myself, well I dont HAVE to do that much, and my physical body follows. Even if its little like Im going to run for 45 minutes... Ill get to 42 and stop and do the last 3 as a cool down....

Our pastor talked about this Sunday with an analogy from the Monument 10k and from Phil 1:19- how first you consent to it in your mind, and your body follows. As soon as you start saying, WHY am I doing this? No ones chasing me? I don't have to do this... your stop. In life- Our outward stumbles are only because we have already decided and committed the sin in our hearts.

Truth be told it DOESN'T matter whether I run for 42 minutes or 45... I dont have to run at all! (the Ecc 5:4-5 principle I have blogged on before) However- it does get me used to making provision for my flesh, and then when the area DOES matter, its much easier to compromise and rationalize it away. Little compromises will eventually have big impacts. AND when you dont rule over your flesh in the non-sin areas... its much easier to rationalize in the sin areas.

Im officially not skipping any classes anymore for the rest of the semester. (not legalistic if there is a valid reason, but not just because its boring, pointless, or I dont feel like it) I also want to try and follow thru with what I say, whether out loud or in my mind. (perhaps making more of an effort to say things out loud for the accountability)

I know I know... I keep learning the same things over and over. My blog is all the same lessons taught to me by different analogies and ways.

Decisions, Decisions...

2009-04-06T11:15:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love the COUNTLESS decisions we are faced with each day?
Usually to come to a conclusion based on what we want...

Today while driving I was simply contemplating the myriad of decisions one can make regarding getting teeth cleaned. ;) HA. Seriously- oh the abundance of good choices!

Think about it- first option, getting my teeth cleaned by the dentist in the church. Helping a local brother- Christians helping fellow body members! The priority of Galatians 6:10.

Option B? Seeking a non-believing dentist in hopes of building consistency and relationship with an unbeliever you would not normally have been introduced to. This is something that you have to spend time on anyways, capitalizing the time and following the Matthew 28 call to share the good news!

Choice #3- Picking the dentist who is the cheapest in town (or the closest location to me?) so I can follow his command to be the best steward of the resources he has given me, and use them on other noble things. Giving the saved $50 to missions or a homeless man?

DUDE I could even throw in a 4th- probably the least lofty sounding- but there is also the stewardship of our bodies. That being said, I could say to seek out the very best, most excellent dentist in town would be a wise decision so I can keep my teeth for as long as possible. ;) O man. I love it.

It is difficult being a steward of someone else's resources! Its not my time, my money, my body... CJ Mahaney says "You get the feeling that practicing discernment is a lot of work. It can be, but it's worth the careful deliberation because the goal is lofty- discerning what pleases the Lord."

At the same time- I don't think God made us to truly wrestle over little decisions of life- and I think I could say to CJ's quote that ALL THREE of those teeth cleaning decisions can be honoring to Him and please Him! Hopefully he will lay on my heart which is the most important priority during the current season of life. Or not... ;) Welcome to my mind. I love even just writing this out because it makes me laugh at the ridiculous nature of it. HA. Go ahead and roll your eyes at me.

I say like the prophet Jeremiah- "Ahh Sovereign Lord..." May I have the wisdom to decide in faith and peace and be obedient whichever path I take. Give me the grace to live each day for your glory!

Humble Pie

2009-04-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

I started off the morning with a clinical at the veterans hospital in the spinal cord injury clinic...

Our patient was a beautiful MIFFED 28 year old Asian with long black hair down to her waist. She had been driving her motorcycle and had an accident and became a parapalegic from the waist down (T6). She was in the army and a marathon runner before the accident, and now was just completely without hope. Everything that she had been living for- guys, beauty, health- was all taken from her... she was so mad that she was getting fat because she couldn't move from her wheelchair and no guys would ever like her again. She wanted to get liposuction and a breast enhancement and a 98'' flat screen TV in her room so she could still watch ESPN sports center.

After leaving the clinic I just started crying. I came home and went for a RUN and just praised God for my legs!!! I truly cannot even imagine being in her shoes. Going from running the 10k this past weekend to never walking again and having healthy young students 'observe' me. God is so sovereign- what is our life?

Formerly that was me... as Ephesians 2 says- 'without hope and without God in this world... but NOW I who was far away have been brought near through the precious blood of Christ!' I get Joni Erickson Tada's monthly publication (shout out KCM) and this month's note was on Christ being more valuable than walking! I want to read her new book... O LORD If tomorrow I was unable to do all the things I find my significance in- may you remind me of my true purpose! I know that I do not live for what I can do or what I give or how I can perform or how much attention I can get or even how I can help others- I live to worship my King! AHHHHH. I love you sovereign Lord. I do not fear inappropriately because you are GOOD and what you do is good.

Carolyn Mahaney on True Beauty

2009-03-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

I think this is such a good message on a subject with which we are so preoccupied:
http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=A1395-01-51

"With God at the center- like the sun, satisfying a woman's longing for beauty and greatness and truth and love- all of the 'planets' of food, dress, exercise, cosmetics, posture, and countenance will stay in their proper orbit." -John Piper

O the depths of the riches of the mercy of God!

2009-03-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

"How good it would be if we could learn that God is easy to live with. He remembers our frame and knows that we are dust. He may sometimes chasten us, it is true, but even this He does with a smile, the proud, tender smile of a Father who is bursting with pleasure over an imperfect but promising son who is coming every day to look more and more like the One whose child he is. Some of us are religiously jumpy and self-conscious because we know that God sees our every thought and is acquainted with all our ways. We need not be. God is the sum of all patience and the essence of kindly good will. We please Him most, not by frantically trying to make ourselves good, but by throwing ourselves into His arms with all our imperfections, and believing that He understands everything and loves us still." -AW Tozer

O man. God WHY. Thank you for loving me! Demonstrating your love! I am so undeserving to be called your child, to be given your clean robes, to have you kill the fatted calf and feast with me... Thank you for loving me!

This was profound to me....

2009-03-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

John Piper wrote this about sex, but it really challenged me in relation to ALL of life. My boyfriend talks often about the sufficiency of Scripture for everything and I am tempted to sometimes think- but the Bible DOESN'T really speak to this directly... namely you search the Scriptures for a topic and don't find much... But John says this is an extremely shallow conclusion. Instead of searching the Bible for the word sex, a more productive search would be to search for the term all things, since sex is an obvious subset of all things. Read these things about sex and really meditate on the ALL things how they apply to all of life or other things we look to the Bible for in how to live:

• Sex is created by God (“by him all things were created”—Col. 1:16).

• Sex continues to exist by the will of Christ (“in him all things hold together”—Col. 1:17).

• Sex is caused by God (he “works all things according to the counsel of his will”—Eph. 1:11).

• Sex is subject to Christ (“he put all things under his feet”—Eph. 1:22).

• Christ is making sex new (“Behold, I am making all things new”—Rev. 21:5).

• Sex is good (“everything created by God is good”—1 Tim. 4:4).

• Sex is lawful in the context of marriage (“all things are lawful”—1 Cor. 10:23).

• When we have sex, we are to do it for the glory of God (“whatever you do, do all to the glory of God”—1 Cor. 10:31).

• Sex works together for the good of God’s children (“for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose”—Rom. 8:28).

• We are to thank God for sex (“nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving”—1 Tim. 4:4).

• Sex is to be sanctified by the Word of God and prayer (“everything. . . is made holy by the word of God and prayer”—1 Tim. 4:4-5).

• We must be on guard not to be enslaved by sex (“I will not be enslaved by anything”—1 Cor. 6:12).

• We are not to grumble about sex (“do all things without grumbling”—Phil. 2:14).

• We are to rejoice in the Lord during sex (“rejoice in the Lord always”—Phil. 4:4).

• We are to be content in sex (“having all contentment in all things at all times”—2 Cor. 9:8 mg.).

• We are to practice and pursue sexual relations in holiness and honor (“each one of you [is to] know how to control his own body [KJV: “possess his vessel”; RSV: “take a wife for himself”]
in holiness and honor”—1 Thess. 4:4).

• Spouses are not to “deprive one another [sexually], except perhaps by agreement for a limited time,” that they might devote themselves to prayer (1 Cor. 7:5).

• But then they are commanded to “come together again [sexually], so that Satan may not tempt [them] because of [their] lack of self-control” (1 Cor. 7:5).

• In this fallen age, sex is both pure and impure—“To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are
defiled” (Titus 1:15).

SO AWESOME!!! Lord. May I meditate on this and how to practically view ALL THINGS.

UNITY not UNIFORMITY

2009-03-11T10:07:00.002-07:00

"If two people are agreeing on everything, than one of them isn't needed."

My JUST God will bring me into account

2009-03-03T06:39:00.000-08:00

"Moses and Aaron were among his preists, Samuel also among those who called upon His name. They called to the Lord and He answered them.
In the pullar of the cloud He spoke to them;
they kept His testimonies and the statutes that He gave them.
O Lord our God you answered them!
You were a forgiving God to them,
But an avenger of their wrongdoing."
Psalm 99:6-8

vs. 9- Exalt our God for HE IS HOLY!
I can't believe it is already March!
CIAO.

Two Responses to the magnitude of God's beauty

2009-02-23T16:04:00.000-08:00

Psalm 63:3
"Because your unfailing love is better than life- my lips will glorify you!"

God's love is better than life!!! His love is sweeter than honey. He is more satisfying than riches! He is more beautiful than the most beautiful thing in His created world! More grand... more intoxicating.
A sensory overload.

People have two responses to this concept of Christ being infinitely better than all we could imagine or experience on earth. The attitude of- Christ is greater than this pleasure- why would I enjoy this pleasure... If Christ is better than life- why live? If more satisfying than riches- why have money? How bout taking that to- if he is more enjoyable than sex, why have it at all?
OR you can have the attitude that Christ is greater! But BECAUSE He is greater- these infinitely smaller pleasures, within His written boundaries, are a joyful reflection of that.

Im sure I am going to do a terrible job conveying this concept... While at the (awesome) FOCUS conference in NC last weekend, Rick Holland gave a great sermon on enjoying things to the glory of God... especially youth before the light is dim and we are old and deaf and boring! ;) (no offense to my elderly readers! HA. If I have any elderly readers... O MAN.) He contrasted Ecclesiastes 11 and 12 with chapter 2... where at the end of the book Solomon promotes the enjoyment of things within God's bounds, and in chapter 2, he reminds that he sought out every form of pleasure to bring him happiness- and it was all meaningless!

Rick especially talked most beautifully about the Krispy Kreme donut. And how a Christian should be able to enjoy the donut FAR MORE FULLY than any other human being on earth. I don't even desire donuts and it made me want to go get one and revel in how great our God is magnified (telescopically) by eating it for His glory!

He also spoke about Jonathan Edwards. His #1 Resolve was "Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God' s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure..."
Doesn't this seem like a contradiction?
Not at all... because Edwards understood that God was the author of every single gift in His life! And that life was broken but enjoyable nonetheless.

Just read CJ Mahaney's book on Worldliness (shout out Jamie) and he also does a much better job articulating this than I can.
"Gospel centered living is grateful living. Whatever we do is to be done with thanks toward God. Whatever in this verse certainly includes entertainment. If we can't thank God with a clear conscience for a particular program or movie, we shouldn't watch it. But if we're wisely investing our time and watching something that is true, honorable, just, pure or lovely (Phil 4:8) then by all means we should thank God for it! We shouldn't watch sheepishly or with a vague sense of guilt but freely thanking God for the viewing experience. God is honored not only by us avoiding sin, but also by our active gratitude for the many good things he provides, including drama, cinematography, creativity, beauty, and laughter.

Eve was the first person to take God's words and distort them in this way... God COMMANDED that Adam and Eve ENJOY everything in the garden (within his bounds, abstaining from the tree of knowlege of good and evil) and she misquoted God by adding to his words- making her standards higher than Gods in chapter 3 verse 2.

Thank you Lord for being the author of pleasure and beauty and enjoyment, SO THAT we could be reminded of how great you are! May we never pursue these things as an end in themselves, but may they cause us to delight more fully in you, overwhelm us with awe and gratitude, and result in glory, honor, and praise on the day you are revealed! Please remind me of the true purpose as I enjoy and "love the life" (shout out Kata, Joe and Tracy) He has given me!

Wow that was long. ;)
Great sermon:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/1991/740_Sweeter_than_Honey_Better_than_Gold/

"Eat honey my son, for it is good; honey from the comb is sweet to your taste. Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul." (Prov 24:13)

Physical Beauty VS. Spiritual Beauty

2009-02-13T05:06:00.001-08:00

"People's standards, of course, differ. Usually, in things that do not matter, we set them impossibly high and thus guarantee for ourselves a life of discontent. In things that matter we set them too low and are easily pleased with ourselves." —Elisabeth Elliot

The Mystery- God USING things as HIS means

2009-02-12T20:01:00.001-08:00

Honestly don't think I could be much more thankful than I am at this moment...

About a year ago Thanksgiving time, I was trying to share with my much older Jewish cousin about the Lord. A complaint that she brought up was that she was watching a show about a girl who couldn't get pregnant. She tried everything she could, and then finally took drugs and became pregnant. The lady on the show was like- 'We just really wanted to thank God for giving us these children...' My cousin was like- LADY GOD DIDN'T GET YOU PREGNANT... THE DRUGS DID. GOD COULDN'T GET YOU PREGNANT- THATS WHY YOU TOOK THE DRUGS.

A thought I have been tempted to think is that it is because I made myself look beautiful, curled my hair, and wore the right outfit... or was assertive about being in the right place, or because I baked him stuff.... that I met my most amazing boyfriend.

O the illusion of control... This is a never ending challenge, and it translates to SO many different areas of life. The problem is that I DO have to work and act in order to make things happen. At the same time- I couldn't do one darn thing apart from His magnificent grace!!!! LORD DO NOT LET ME FORGET THIS!!! Thank you Father!!! It is a total mystery to me how you have chosen to work. Thank you for allowing me a part and teach me how to see that appropriately.

"When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today." (Deut 8:10-18)

The PURPOSE of freedom

2009-02-10T05:10:00.000-08:00

Exodus 4:22-23
"Then you will say to Pharoah, Thus says the Lord- Israel is my firstborn son. And I say to you, 'Let my son go SO THAT he may serve me."

Lord set me free from sin, bondage, foolishness, and myself so that I can be a more effective servant of You my God! I love that in the Old Testament everything was so outward. Often times a physical picture of a New Testament spiritual reality.

"I run in the path of your commands, for You have set my heart free." (Ps 119:32)

"Set me free from my prison that I may praise your name!" (Ps 142:7)

"If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed!" (John 8:36)

"You have been set free from sin and become slaves to righteousness." (Romans 6:18)

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free..." (Galatians 5:1)

"For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant." (Hebrews 9:15)

"Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God." (1 Peter 2:16)

"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen." (Revelation 1:6)

I exist... human, woman, student, blogger.

2009-01-13T17:34:00.000-08:00

This morning I was reading in Genesis... a lot of material to meditate on.

"And the Lord appeared to him (Abraham) by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the door of his tent at the heat of the day..." (ch 18:1)

Imagine this scene. WHAT WAS ABRAHAM DOING? Just chilling in his tent, looking around, maybe being lazy, siesta-ing... whatever. What did they do in general in Bible times? And why/what are we so busy doing!? Seriously. We are such a SMALL piece of God's picture- such little worms- I was thinking about that as I read- what do I spend all my time doing?! We really feel like we have to be doing something to glorify God. We don't even have to be thinking about God to be glorifying him. A married couple can have sex for the glory of God without consciously thinking that the act is currently glorifying God and worshipping Him. Just by enjoying eachother and doing something God created them to do. I can work or walk or lay on a blanket outside and watch the clouds go by to the glory of God even if Im not meditating on the awesome fact that He created them. I think sometimes we attribute works or try to think up ways that we are glorifying God in our daily lives. Like I CAN do this for the glory of God IF while Im doing it I am consciously thinking about Him and worshipping him while I do it. In actuality our very LIFE and existence glorifies our creator. Just because He made us...

"For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.”

"So Paul teaches us that Jesus Christ created all that is. They were created through him. All that came into being exists for Christ—that is, it exists to display the greatness of Christ. Nothing—nothing!—in the universe exists for its own sake. Everything from the bottom of the oceans to the top of the mountains, from smallest particle to the biggest star, from the most boring school subject to the most fascinating science, from the ugliest cockroach to the most beautiful human, from the greatest saint to the most wicked genocidal dictator—everything that exists, exists to make the greatness of Christ more fully known" -John Piper

Also really thought about Abraham's intercession for Sodom and what that teaches me about the character of God. I don't know. Im not going to look it up for an immediate answer either. Lord reveal to me slowly as I meditate and ponder on the application of that Scripture. But it is just interesting to note Abraham's fear as he approaches God. He pleads- O let not the Lord be angry! Several times- and each time the Lord responds with grace and SIMPLICITY. Does not even acknowledge Abraham's fear- just answers his requests with the answer I will not destroy it. I see God so constant and steady here- so good! I don't even really see how people can get confused at God changing his mind- God never even declares He is going to destory the city before Abraham starts interceeding... And this is BEFORE our great intercessor and the promise of Hebrews 4:16. How much more so can we come to Him? Sigh. AMEN. BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE YOU LORD!

Man.

A few side notes just from my day I really feel a strong desire to learn more about Israel and the MYSTERY regarding the people of God- his covenant, the history, the prophecy...
Another FYI. I love being a girl and femininity, long hair... Thankful to be a woman.
ALSO thankful to see growth in my own theology as I post and the Holy Spirit reveals things to me little by little. I love blogging. I wonder how many of my posts are "off" so to speak... Lord may your Holy Spirit be my teacher. Thank you for your marvelous word and for the gift of life and breath. May we learn how to abide and dwell in futility, existing for your glory!

Happy 2009!

2009-01-12T18:32:00.000-08:00

WOW. Its intimidating to commence the first post of 2009... its gotta be good right? Deep? Profound? Significant?

HENCE I am just getting it over with by posting some good quotes from some neat men... and then I can revert back to my less articulate musings. ;) Thankful to be able to blog.

"Sin is despair, for sin is not the wildness of flesh and blood, but it is the spirit's consent thereto."
-Soren Kierkegaard

"You will never become what you are not becoming." -Harvey Hartman

"The point of having an open mind, like having an open mouth, is to close it on something solid." -G. K. Chesterton

Mutualistic Symbiosis

2008-12-20T06:59:00.001-08:00

Mutualistic symbiosis is a biology term for a relationship in which all partners obtain an advantage... its usually having to do with plants or algea. Like this one gets food from eating the dead cells off this algea- and the algea gets cleaned and can breathe better or something. Gonna leave the actual analogy superficial.

I LOVE this in life. Relationships where both parties benefit? Its beautiful. I am thankful for all the relationships in my life where this is true- and we can mutually encourage one another in different ways! You have this one thing down... and I struggle. And vise versa. So thankful to God for putting relationships in my life. And for giving his people different strengths and weaknesses- this is why marriage is such a beautiful thing... and so sanctifying!

Yesterday we went to the nursing home to visit, and my friend Jamie said to me as we were leaving- "Its so good for them for us to visit! and its so good for us to see them!" Isn't it the truth? They need to see my joy, love, innocent trust, health and vigor- and I need to see there maturity, their pain and lonliness, their faithfulness/ tried trust/longsuffering.

May I never get prideful as I serve! If I go on mission trips to help people, as I am a Physical Therapist to help people, as I am in relationship with others, regardless of their religion or level- I need to learn something through them as much as they can learn from me! Thank you God for this truth and may you constantly remind me of it! Keep me from pride and remember me.

Expectation

2008-12-17T16:23:00.000-08:00

Expectation... probably is the number one cause of disappointment and depression in the US today.

Bold statement? I authored it so I wouldn't tout that statistic to anyone... I really do think it is true though! Two weeks ago at church, a Biblical counseling professor from Masters Seminary was talking about depression- the cause not being from hating yourself, but loving yourself too much, and then being dissapointed in yourself- that you aren't skinny enough or your lips are too small, your husband doesn't make enough money...

You can listen to the sermon here:
http://gracebiblerichmond.org/media_player.asp?messageID=23200

Its true with me! My counselor mom has some catchy phrase about expect leads to reject or something like that... (obviously it wasn't catchy enough, right?) But whenever I have expectations of something that doesn't happen- serious discouragement is not far. I remember the entire 2 weeks I was in Malaysia last Christmas I was looking forward to going out with my parents to the Cheesecake factory after they picked me up from the airport. They promised it before I left, we even emailed about it... then- trauma of traumas- I got off the plane and into the car (seriously sleep deprived mind you, having been awake and traveling for 27 hours) and my parents told me we weren't going. NO LIE- I burst into tears. ;) Over the Cheesecake factory!!! LAME-O. I know... there is power in expectation.

The complete word expectation is only used a few times in Scripture... although expect is used a few times more.

Psalm 5:3 is one of them
"In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."

Thats a scary one... huge set up for dissapointment, no? This goes along with praying in faith- a concept I definitely don't think I understand.

The one that came to mind instantly was Romans 8:13
"The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."

I love Philippians 1:20
"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death."

Note expect is differentiated from hope here.
I think this is an important distinction.... My thought of the day is that I cannot expect ANYTHING except for the return of Christ and the things Im promised in Scripture. Anything else that I expect from my life will lead to disappointment and depression...

I can have hope for other things, but I dare not expect them! I can hope to be married one day, hope to wake up tomorrow, hope to hike Mt. Whitney... but the ONLY hope that does not dissapoint is found in the person of Christ (Romans 5:5) AMEN!

Woman among Women

2008-12-14T05:57:00.000-08:00

While reading for the Sunday School lesson this week- it was on Luke 1... the angel Gabriel appearing to Mary...

He said to her- greetings you who are highly favored! and this greatly troubled Mary... was it just the fact that an angel was speaking to her? Or was it something about what he said? This puzzled me enough to look to MH. I love Matthew Henry... ;)

He chastens women to ask some questions regarding compliments they receive and the motives behind them... Some things that Mary may have wondered about Gabriel's greeting:
Was it from heaven or of men? Was it to amuse her? was it to ensnare her? was it to banter her? or was there something substantial and weighty in it?

"Mary's thoughtfulness upon this occasion gives a very useful intimation to young people of her sex, when addresses are made to them, to consider and cast in their minds what manner of salutations they are, whence they come, and what their tendency is, that they may receive them accordingly, and may always stand on their guard."

AMEN! Nice Challenge MH.
"The wise in heart are called discerning..." (Proverbs 16:21)

You are so wealthy

2008-12-09T05:36:00.001-08:00

Been reading the book of James over and over... and loving it. God is continuing to show me more and more each day.

Definitely on initial read through you see a lot of condemnation toward wealth... chapter 2- don't give special treatment to the rich... chapter 5- You have lived your life in self-indulgence and luxury!

Chapter 1 is seems backwards when you first read it: (new living translation below) ;)

"Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them. And those who are rich should boast that God has humbled them. They will fade away like a little flower in the field. The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements."

This also makes you be scared to have riches. YIKES. After meditating a few days first I decided to see what the infamous Matthew Henry says:

Good Christians may be rich in the world. Grace and wealth are not wholly inconsistent.

And my favorite thing he says is- BOTH the rich and the poor are commanded to rejoice! I didn't catch that- I was thinking, if you are poor- praise God, but if you are rich, LAMENT because your wealth and YOU are going to be destroyed. NO. James tells us regardless- we are to rejoice! Based on what? Not because God has blessed us with wealth! See below quote.

"For this reason let him that is rich rejoice, not so much in the providence of God, that makes him rich, as in the grace of God, that makes and keeps him humble; and in those trials and exercises that teach him to seek his felicity in and from God, and not from these perishing enjoyments."

O thank you most gracious Father! You give me just what I need. You are constant and the same- yesterday, today, and forever.

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have FOR He has said- never will I leave you and never will I forsake you." -Hebrews 13:5

Honest Struggles

2008-12-05T05:35:00.000-08:00

Hypocrisy defined by a great theologian- "The masking of inward evil by an outward show of righteousness."

I struggle with my evil heart.
RID YOURSELVES of all hypocrisy and desire the pure spiritual milk of the Word to transform you!

I love that this is the first post of December. ;) God transform my wretched heart...

James 3 says- 'But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it OR deny the truth.
Lord I don't want to glory in my wretchedness or dwell on it... I also don't want to deny the fact that I truly am wretched! Thank you for giving me a right standing before you.

Top 10 things I am thankful for

2008-11-25T10:35:00.000-08:00

In no particular order... if I had none of them except God himself I would have enough to keep me singing, praising, worshipping, blogging with gratitude for the rest of my life

1. Religious freedom. This is something that I am profoundly unaware of most of the time and I really take it for granted. I just found out recently that a bracelet I have been wearing that says 'Pray for China'... if a Chinese person is caught wearing it, they are arrested! I honestly cannot even fathom that. Lord. THANK YOU! May we USE this freedom to proclaim you more boldly, rather than an excuse to be less on fire for you. Thank you for persecution in China and for growing the church there way more than the church in America! Accomplish your sovereign work God!

2. HEAT, a home, a sweet big bed, and an amazing Godly roommate. Lord thank you for providing above and beyond my needs and blessing me with blessing upon blessing from the fulness of your grace! (John 1:16)

3. The best FRIENDS and support system. O man! This is such a gift!!! Lord thank you for placing people in my life to 'do life' with! Lord you have created us to love companionship and I thank you for filling this desire in my life. God that my parents are still alive! I honestly could not have made it in life without them. For people who will sharpen me and speak truth into my life and give me Godly counsel. Who will encourage me and point me to the Word. Who will enjoy laughter with me and levity and merrymaking... ;) For a CHURCH and the other parts of my body who are faithful to the commands of Scripture and have consciences that are sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

4. PT School. Can you BELIEVE this is on the list? This is one of the biggest gifts my Father has ever given me. I really am so thankful for it and so ashamed to say it because of my behavior and actions! Its like saying- O I am so thankful for this gift you gave me but I hate this about it... and I hate the way you wrapped it- and did you have to give it to me now? And what about the color- can we change that? UGH. I'll look at it later.

5. Jordan. This man the Lord has brought in my life... I honestly don't know what will happen or how things will work out. But I am so challenged by him! I am beyond amazed that I get to date and serve alongside someone this cool. His passion for the Lord truly inspires me, sharpens me, and edifies me. I have had more opportunites to share the gospel in the 3 months I have been talking to him then in the whole year leading up to it. And he is handsome and hysterical at the same time! ;) Also just the fact of dating in general is a cool privilege I am thankful for. I am learning a lot and experiencing a lot of things I never have before... exposed to emotions, selfishness, communication. All a part of the Lord's plan to grow me up into the daughter He wants me to be!

6. Opportunities to exercise discernment and wisdom. This kind of goes hand in hand with number 5. And all of life! I am so thankful for this Lord! Thank you so much for leaving some things unknown! For not telling us how to walk and move every single step of the way! For giving us choices to make! And the freedom to disobey! For circumstances and signs in life- for confusions, things that throw us off that cause us to seek your face and make us use our brains and act out of the wisdom you have given us! I pray to be wise and then hate the opportunities I get to practice! THANK YOU MY ALL WISE GOD!

7. The Word of God. Kind of a lead off as well from the previous one. My guidebook! Thank you so much for it Lord! I value it so much and help me to value it even more! What a gift! Without it we would be so lost- you have chosen out of all mediums to reveal yourself through the written Word...

8. Christs death on the cross. The point of all of Scripture... God's plan from the beginning of creation- My romantic Lord created me to redeem me! Thank you for providing a way for us to be in relationship with you! Knowing you is the greatest gift we could ever be given. Thank you for giving us your Son, a Savior, an advocate! "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever!!" AMEN!!!

9. My legs. My body in general really. Health... MOVEMENT basically though. I love walking! Thank you God for giving me legs to carry me around. That I can walk around and see your creation and get exercise. For muscles, muscle fibers, CELLS, SENSATION.... For hands to type this entry! Ears to hear an alarm clock in the morning. A mouth to speak and sing. For TEETH to smile and take care of... A stomach to digest food to have strength and energy to move... For a back to carry a bookbag! For giving me the biggest hair of anyone I know. ;) For eyes to take in the glory of creation around me...

10. Mountains, beauty, and splendor. O GOD!!! I love the things you have made. Thank you for aesthetics! For attractivness. For creativity. I love to appreciate beauty- may I attribute it ALL to you. Thank you for creating mountains, canyons, and things to humble us and remind us of our lowly estate before you! Thank you for allowing me to climb up them and shout from the tops of them! Thank you for creating the leaves to change color- the SUN to shine faithfully... the sea to churn and the life that swims inside of it. For animals big and small. For fur and hair and slimy slugs. For texture and color! Lord your attributes are everywhere! Your testimony is everywhere- thank you for the analogies and picture that your creation is!

"For every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of Heavenly lights who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:16

"For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer." 1 Tim 4:4

LORD! Thank you! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!! MAN. What evils in me cannot coexist with a thankful heart. May I bring you praises constantly- always and forever precious Lord!

Happiness can not always equal love

2008-11-23T20:29:00.000-08:00

So I have made friends with a lovely homeless lady named Linda. She is great and Im glad I have gotten to know her. She has quickly become dear to me and I really want good for her- I want her to REALLY know the Lord! I want her to get a job... I want her to find joy.

Its funny because she really loves Cigarettes... she tries to space em out and get a pack every 3-4 days. Its funny to hear her talk about them and they really bring her a lot of pleasure. The last time I saw her I asked her what kind of cigarettes she liked... (Newport 100s) trying to think to myself- is this a gift I could bring her to show her love? The Bible does not say that smoking a cigarette is a sin...

My wise boyfriend looked at me like I had grown a third head when I mentioned that I had contemplated buying her cigarettes and that it might be a moral dilemma... how on earth could I give her something that she is finding her joy in or fulfilling an addiction!? (wow Vanesa.)
I told Linda that I wanted what was best for her and it wouldn't be loving for me to give her something that could kill her! It also wouldn't be loving for me to give her something to find peace in apart from Jesus Christ.

I think its the same when a wife has a husband who has an addiction to food and loves to overindulge... and she just goes ahead and fixes him whatever he wants because she would rather see him happy. That cannot be 1 Corinthians love... desiring what is best for the other person above their comfort. So hard though I know! Its so tempting to pray for ease and comfort for the people you love instead of praying God to conform them into His likeness. I am so glad for a Father whos PERFECT love always chooses what is best for me, regardless of my opinion on the issue... Lord always answer my prayers according to your unfailing love!!!!

Psalm 62:9

2008-11-22T09:14:00.001-08:00

"Those of low estate are but a breath; those of high estate are a delusion; in the balances they go up; they are together lighter than a breath."

Man is not ultimate, God is

2008-11-20T12:16:00.000-08:00

This has been a tough day for me mentally. 99% of my battles are internal.

This morning I got up to go feed the homeless @ Monroe Park. Such a privilege to serve them! Really is. I am thankful for the ministry and the hearts of those involved.

This morning I talked to one gentleman named Ron with the most piercing blue eyes... got to pray with him too (Side note- I LOVE the bridge that prayer is. I have never ever heard anyone turn down your prayers. Such a door!) But all day since I have really been struggling and I am not totally sure why. Ron said he was really struggling believing in God and wondering why he had been given such hard circumstances.

I cannot imagine. Lord why have I been blessed so?
Actually forgive me for ever asking you why. May I trust you implicitly for everything with a child like faith!

My sweet friend prayed the other day, God thank you for creating us with needs so that you can fill them! AMEN. How beautiful is that? God thank you for creating me with desires so that you can satisfy them! And desires and needs that are PHYSICAL as well as spiritual.... I don't think its unspiritual to have needs apart from God that are filled apart from God. (Ie... the need for shelter. Yes He is my shelter in the storm, my refuge, but at the same time... I do need actual protection from the elements! This is not an unspiritual notion...) YES the Lord has created me to desire a man... or the desire for physical affection and yes I can be totally satisfied without one and he can meet my needs completely. He can also bless me with literal physical affection and satisfy me through my spouse (Prov 5:19)

Thank you great God for allowing me to experience cold so I can praise you for heat! Thank you for the temporary. Lord I have not been homeless but thank you for the experience of tent sleeping to appreciate a bed. Thank you for allowing me to experience hunger so I can praise you for food! For allowing me to experience lonliness so I can truly thank you for fellowship. Thank you for allowing me to experience times of darkness and drought so I may understand truly how to cherish your presence.

Ron I can only give you a very elementary explanation for the God of the universe and how he chooses to work. I can't tell you why you have experienced hard times, except so that my God can get even more glory through the process if you trust in Him!
GOD YOU ARE GOOD. You are Sovereign. Your ends will prevail and your purposes will stand. May you be praised among all the earth! May my life be a fragrant offering to you! May I not be hardened by circumstances EVER... no matter what my life will bring. I have NO idea what rocks lie in my path but nothing will surprise you My Savior and My God!

"The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made." -Psalm 145

Light in Darkness

2008-11-18T16:59:00.000-08:00

Psalm 18:28 "You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light."

This past weekend I went to the Grand Caverns in Staunton VA... and I enjoyed it a lot. It was just neat to be under the earth and see how the Lord has created things there.

I also learned that if I would stay down in the caverns for merely two weeks I would go blind for life! It is truly dark down there... no light whatsoever. Your eyes simply get so accustomed to darkness that you are no longer able to see the light! O man that is powerful! And it happens so fast!

Lord- may I be so filled with your light that I radiate to others. Never allow my light to dim or burn out. Lord may you flood light over the dark places of my life that I want to conceal from you. Send forth your light and your truth and lead me in the way everlasting!

"But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" -Matthew 6:23

The first post of November!

2008-11-18T06:25:00.000-08:00

O November... what a month! Thank you Lord for your many gifts and how you are shaping me.

Psalm 37:23
"The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way."

WHO DO YOU THIS IS THE HE AND WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE HIS?
Either one is just beautiful.

Good morning all! Love you.
V

Not an analogy NOR will this make any sense.

2008-10-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

The Lord is growing me by leaps and bounds. I feel like He is BLOWING my mind beyond belief lately. Seriously. Being expanded. I mean BLOWING my mind. Praise HIM!!!!

Who knows what will happen or what is going on but I am so thankful for the Lord and the fact that He is Sovereign and good and true and Holy and that he created me female... that he knows the times set for me and that they are in His hands. I am so thankful for His Holy Spirit- for conviction!

Today I only have one class scheduled and I decided not to go to it and just spend the day getting some work done. I have done no school work since arising this morning about 3 hours ago. Nor have I eaten or left my room or gotten out from under the covers. HAHHAHAHHA
Its 57 degrees in our house (hello frugal Asian roommate and no heat yet. Love you Yvonne!)

First I have been reading Elizabeth Elliots book on discipline and its BY FAR my favorite book of all time I think. Its amazing. She is amazing.
I love the spontaneous outbursts of WHOA that come out of my mouth as I read.

So what is really blowing my mind this morning is Ephesians.... currently reading it in the ESV and its so different!!!! I mean NIV its like I disengage my brain a little.... because I memorized like the first 3 chapters a few years ago.... I don't really remember it to say it to you now but its just like it doesn't sink in. I read over it and its like yeah yeah.... know that... if that makes any sense. But now reading it in ESV its so different!

I love chapter 5 verse 9... this doesn't even sound familiar to me.... like what does that correlate to in NIV? I have no idea. "for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true."
AMEN! wow- I love that!

and then the next verse (10)- Paul says to the Ephesians "try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord!"
It is discernment needed!!! Sometimes I think that I should just know what is the right thing. That if I was truly abiding in Christ that it would be easy. But I think me constantly trying to figure out what is right is okay- I need discernment to KNOW what pleases Him in the minor details of life that aren't neccessarily Biblical commands. May I please You in all LORD!

Or how about 4:29? This was the theme verse of our house when I lived in North Carolina. We called it the encouraging house. I have that memorized in NIV but its also missing a little phrase..."Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only such as is good for building up, AS FITS THE OCCASION, that it may give grace to those who hear. "
Appropriateness in context. Definitely am convicted here. SOmetimes I may give encouragement to build someone up but it may not be fitting the occasion/context. Forgive me Lord! Set guard over my mouth and my speech!!! May it bring you glory always!

4:4.... the hope that BELONGS TO OUR CALL??? What does that mean?

"But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift. Therefore it says: 'when he ascended on high he led a host of captives and he gave gifts to men."
AMEN.

How bout Paul's beautiful prayer in chapter 3. It has always been one of my favorite passages of Scripture of all time. But again- slightly different. Check out verse 18 especially. "that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have the strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth (END) and to know the love of Christ that surpasses all knowledge so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Do u see that? Its like that we may comprehend what is the breadth and length and height and depth.... thats it. NIV says that we may comprehend the breadth and depth and width of HIS LOVE. By putting that and before knowing the love of Christ it totally changes it doesn't it?? What I might comprehend what IS the breadth and depth.

I know this will probably not make any sense. Nor do I really care.
Holy fire, burn away- my desire for anything that is not of you and is of me. I want more of you and less of me.
OK. I REALLY should get some work done now. ;)
o man.

Preach it Elizabeth

2008-10-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

"Things are given to us to enjoy for awhile. Nothing has done more damage to the Christian view of life than the hideous notion that those who are spiritual have lost all interest in this world and its beauties. The Bible says, 'God... endow us richly with all things to enjoy. It also says, 'do not set your hearts on the godless world or anything in it.' It is altogether fitting and proper that we should enjoy things made for us to enjoy. What is not at all fitting or proper is that we should set our hearts on them. Temporal things must be received as temporal things- received, given thanks for, offered back, but enjoyed." -Elizabeth Elliot

Worship

2008-10-23T18:18:00.000-07:00

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." -Romans 12:1

Last week, I was challenged by a dynamic man of God to think about making apple pies as an act of worship. What a cool mental picture that was. What a challenge to me!

Tonight I had a fat dance party with my roommate trying to WARM ourselves up in our frigid home. I put together a dynamic jamming playlist, grabbed my hip scarf and we started dancing. ;) We were able to not only raise our body temperatures BUT, believe it or not, actually raise the house temperature by two degrees. ;) But that is besides the point...

Point is, as I looked at Yvonne- I just knew that in her heart she was praising God and she was truly worshipping Him through her dancing. It all comes back to the heart and my heart was not there... and the Lord showed it to me.

I read in Jerry Bridges book 'Respectable Sins' that our biggest sin is just a purvasive ungodliness- going through life without constantly thinking of God. Ungodliness is at the root of every other sin we struggle with.
"Do we consciously and prayerfully seek His glory in all we say and do in our most ordinary activities of the day? Or do we actually go about these activities with little or no thought of God?"

Lord may the way I dance, cook, jog, sit in class... all be an act of worship to you.
Change my HEART O God!!

O TASTE AND SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD!!!

2008-10-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

Last night I went out to dinner with a sweet single friend of mine and she requested prayer for contentment in her singlehood. We talked about the fact that she was a non-dater like me and she was always content UNTIL she started dating. After knowing what it was like- now it is much harder for her to stay content. She has been there and knows how good it feels.

I just see this phenomenon in a few areas...
Been talking to a B-O-Y (whoa) recently and each 'taste' I get of talking to him or hanging out with him makes me want to do it more. I hang up or leave and am already ready for more. Or who am I kidding when I say- I just want to TASTE this dessert? Of course once I taste it I crave more!

God you are good!! I have tasted and I have seen! I have tasted the GIFT of you! And the sweetness of your WORD! O Lord may I never settle for anything less palatable!

"It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. "
-Hebrews 6:4-6

ALSO... why is it that in the two areas noted above- I am constantly trying to restrain myself... and diminish my craving for more. Hold back from sending an email or getting a second portion of dessert. Lord you are the ONLY thing that I can desire unsatiably and it is good for me to do so! Yet that seems like it is the one desire that is naturally suppressed. I definitely don't have to work hard at holding myself back- if anything I have to work hard at truly desiring you. Lord change my heart! Change my desires! circumcize my heart! Increase my desire for you! Remind me of your taste! Exalt yourself above all!

Obviously this practice needs to happen more in my life

2008-10-21T17:19:00.000-07:00

This summer I went to Alaska for 2 weeks. Email was sparse 'up there in Alaska' ;) and I accidentally left my cell phone in Virginia for the duration of that trip... ;)

Usually I love that... it is like leaving your leash at home and being fully present where you are and who you are with.

HOWEVER. Last night I had decided to be sans-electronic communication for the day today.... give my thumbs a break from all the texting and be more focused. This morning I woke up and deliberately did not check my email and promptly turned my cell phone to OFF. Today in class during breaks, I didn't know if someone had left me a voicemail or not... I figured everything could wait until 4:00...

The truth is though- it was SO difficult today! What? 10 hours without a cell phone? WOW.

And there are so many factors so I really debated which analogy to pull out here.
One- it was because I was looking forward to hearing from someone in particular. ;) It changes a lot. (Lord let me crave your presence and Word with such eager expectation!)

Second is because I wasn't enjoying myself in class today like I was enjoying myself in Alaska... sometimes we can totally use it as an escape from the current circumstances.(Lord remind me the secret of being content wherever I am!)

Thirdly is the fact that I had brought the phone to class with me even though it was turned off! It was sitting right there and even though I had told myself I wasn't turning it on today- it was a true temptation. It DEFINITELY would have been easier to have just left it at home or in my car. In Alaska I didn't really have a choice. (Lord may I not subject myself foolishly to temptation!)

That last thought on steering clear of tempting circumstances is something I heard recently in a sermon on legalism. It definitely is easier to just remove all forms of temptation than to have to rely on God for his grace... It also helps me feel better about myself because Im not daily confronted with my wretchedness and how quickly I can fall! The laws and rules and 'do not' safegaurds of the Old Testament are almost easier than depending on God's grace!
(Not to say in any way that I need to foolishly place ourselves in tempting circumstances!!!)

Father I need thee every hour. Thank you for redeeming me from the curse of the law!

Racing in my own lane

2008-10-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

"We will not boast beyond measure but within the limits of the sphere that God appointed...." (2 Cor 10:13)

Pastor Rodney Finch expounded this verse by explaining that this could be referring to a familiar analogy of the time. The Corinthians loved the races... and held all the famous games in Corinth. Limits of the sphere likely refers to the lanes alloted for the runners of the race. Paul is saying- I am running in my own lane and not someone elses. And the lane that I am running in is appointed by God.
I am focused on my own calling and my sphere of influence.

Vanesa- this person is doing this and this person is doing that... GREAT! ;)
But I need to be focused on my sphere of influence and run in my own lane!
A lot of times when you look outside your running lane- you fall... or in swimming races- when you look to see how your competitor is doing, you lose time.
Lord remind me to work on what you have annointed and called me to do.

"When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves they are not wise." -2 Corinthians 10:12

Commitments

2008-10-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

This blog is going to be extremely breif. ;)

Just thinking about John McCain and his 'spending freeze' and how that relates to my life.
Thinking about commitment and being overwhelmed, doing what is right, choosing to be involved in what is best...

I think one of the saddest things is when you choose to be involved in so many things that the most important ones (as in my priority of school) start to slip (aka poor grades) and then I have to be like WHOA- stop, back up, can't be involved in that, let me back out of this....
So foolish! Just be wise in your practices so no freeze ever needs to occur!
Forgive me Lord! Help me to discern what is best and just abide in you.

Job 11:12
"But a witless man can no more become wise than a donkey's colt can become a man."

Dog Vomit Path

2008-10-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I went hiking with some friends @ Humpback Rocks. Its a short little hike and it was probably the most perfect day ever for it.

Since I had hiked the trail before, (and because the others were SLOW ;) ha- love u) I was leading the group on the way up... However, I told them all that I have hiked this about 4-5 times and EVERY single time I end up somehow off the path on the way down and end up having to hack my way back to the trail. HA. Seriously! Every time!
So I said- whatever, you guys pay attention and someone else has to lead on the way down because I know myself and I know we will end up on the wrong trail.

Well someone else DID lead... but we found ourselves on the wrong path yet again!
Isn't that sad? Does it remind you of the path that leads to sin? It was like we were aware of the wrong path, we knew that we had to be on guard or it would end up happening to us again, there was a herald warning, yet somehow I ended up BACK on that same wrong path....
FOOL

"As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."
Proverbs 26:11

Addendum to this post 10/13/08:

So this morning on the way home from the Y... I was thinking about the further analogies to be found in this situation. Its actually funny because on the way down the path, one of my friends (Jamie) said to me- there has got to be one of your analogies here, what can we learn? And I was like- ugh, no there isn't. I don't even want to think about that- I have done this so many times. Its like how sometimes when we are back ON that same path again- we are so stubborn! We don't really want to take the time to learn or think about the fact that we are back where we thought we would never be. ALSO both Jamie and my roommate Yvonne were nervous that we were not on the right path... as they were lamenting ;) I was busy telling them- "O stop... Its fine! I told you I have done this so many times- we come out right up here. Don't worry." Isn't that also true with repetitive sins in our lives? Others may be horrified but we are so comfortable with it! Its familiar to us. We know how we got there and how we can get out- sometimes to our detriment in the fact that it doesn't disgust us as we should. You know the attitude I speak of.... I found my way out the last time and the hacking out wasn't really that bad is akin to "Well God has forgiven me for this before..."

"O that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be ashamed when I compare my life against your commands." -Psalm 119:5-6

"I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your Word." -Psalm 119:101

AWE inspiring verse of the day

2008-10-01T20:42:00.001-07:00

"You are resplendent with light. More majestic than the mountains rich with game."

-Psalm 75:4

Seasons

2008-09-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

Fall is my favorite time of year.

I LOVE the crispness in the air, hiking, apple picking, drinking hot cider, picking/carving pumpkins, watching the leaves change... just enjoying the beauty and saturating my senses.

Two days ago, I was driving through Charlottesville on my way home to see my parents and it was cloudy and pouring rain. However... I was thinking, I have got to still capitalize on my drive thru Charlottesville. I can't waste this opportunity- Im right here!

After much deliberation, I decided against hiking in the rain, but I did decide to stop by Carter Mtn apple orchard to pick a few apples and get some hot cider. When I got there- it was so gross! So muddy, dreary, wet, cold... ;) HA.

All I could think was that- there is no perfect season. How great is summer to enjoy the lake and be off school- AND BE HOT AND HUMID. Or the beautiful snow on the ground in winter... the skiing, lights, Christmas- AND be freezing, snowed in...

So this analogy goes with life, huh? There are so many different seasons in life! Being single, being a student, graduating being a newly wed, buying a home, being a new parent, kicking the kids out of the home after being married 25 years (no particular order neccessary here!) EVERY season has its true blessings and joys, and every season has its trials.

I am so thankful to live in Virginia where we get to realy experience all the different seasons. And I am thankful, and pray that Lord willing, I will be able to experience all the different seasons of life.

"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him." -Daniel 2: 20-22

End in Mind

2008-09-25T14:22:00.000-07:00

So about a week ago I watched the CHEESIEST movie (shout out J's) I think I have seen to date. ;)
However... one of the points in the movie was that if you don't neccessarily think there is a Biblical right/wrong in an area- to just fast forward your life and look toward the future to see if it is something that you would regret looking back on.

I think if we could master this "living looking toward the future" bit... things would be a lot easier.

This morning as I ran out of the YMCA at 6:30 am, I had so much joy, energy, exhilaration, praise... I was SO thankful to have completed my daily exercise and have the whole day ahead of me. However- when my alarm went off at 5 AM- joy, gratitude, and exhilaration were the last things on my mind.

Another example is like indulging on a fat piece of chocolate cake. If you could fastforward to about 5 minutes post consumption... you would realize that instead of feeling joy- you feel groaning and the ooooo why did I eat that blues. ;)

I have a feeling that in heaven we will think, why on earth did we so often trade the long term for the temporary? As a believer, I am not called to live for the moment, but live in light of eternity! And hopefully tomorrow when the alarm goes off at 5, I can CALL TO MIND this truth.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Extended Camping Trip

2008-09-18T17:50:00.000-07:00

Paul, the tentmaker, knew a LOT about tents.
I on the other hand- know almost NOTHING about them.

I listened to a neat sermon this eve that made me think about this...
Don't you find it odd that he only uses them in analogy ONE time in all the books that he wrote?
I do.
The only time you find the word tent in the Pauline epistles is in the beginning of 2 Corinthians 5.
Usually the analogies come from the things we see day in and day out... at least mine do.

2 Cor 5
Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

One of the attributes about tents that I am so thankful for is that they are temporary! So glad I don't have to live in one day in and day out! Whenever I get home from backpacking I cant wait to sleep in my nice air conditioned house and comfy bed.
Can't wait to trade in my tent for a mansion one day!

Ananias and Saphira moment

2008-09-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

I am ashamed to write this, but not at the same time. It just reveals the sickness and sin nature within my heart- our default setting.

So tonight me and my roommate went for a walk in our neighborhood and went in to one of our Catholic neighbors house for a bit to chat with them. The husband has been very ill and had mentioned wanting to go out to the movies but wasn't sure if he could go because he has been wheelchair bound. While they were talking I was thinking- perfect. I have a free movie ticket from my sister and I can give them one in a little card and an invitation to come over for lunch.

So we got home and I was writing the card and I went a movie ticket and put it in the card. Yvonne looked at me and said- you just have one movie ticket? And I said- "YES! (wow) I get them from my sister." LIE! I actually had THREE movie tickets but I wanted to hold on to two of them to go with a friend. Not a bad thing in itself- I didn't have to give them ANY of the movie tickets, but just revealed the evilness deep in my heart. Same exact situation as in Acts 5... God didn't require the giving of Ananias' and Saphiras profits- but he does want a cheerful giver, a pure heart and motives, and honesty before him and fellow believers! Humility of heart rather than seeking praise from men. In about 45 seconds conviction flooded and I was like Yvonne I take it back!!! Thank God the lightening didn't strike.
Forgive me Lord for my foolishness!

John 17:17 proves true over and over in my life

2008-09-07T17:18:00.000-07:00

Romans 12:1-2... be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

My life verse- John 17:17 "Sanctify them by your Word- your Word is truth."

Both were evidenced today as I was looking at something I had written in my journal (not normally a journaler) a mere TWO weeks ago when reading through Luke! I had written:
"I wonder if anyone is called to being poor or missions or if we are ALL called to it... I mean wouldn't everyone rather have a comfortable air conditioned home? Are those who sacrifice it just aware of the brevity of this life and that this is not our true home? One day we will live in palaces! Why on earth would we want an imitation one now? Luke 7:25"

Honestly I read that today and thought- WOW- did I really write that?? It sounds so super-spiritual. I kind of do want a palace now...

Just goes to show you how the Holy Spirit really does transform you during the reading of His Word. Transform me Lord!

Overused Analogies

2008-09-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

So I ran the rock n roll half marathon this past weekend and there were SO many analogies running around. However, most of them are nothing profound so if it wasn't about time for another blog, I probably wouldn't post them.... ;)

I started running with my sister and 2 of her friends and one girl fell behind instantly. About mile 4 I was jamming to my ipod, getting my grove on and a song came on the playlist entitled "Miserable." It was NOT the song to be listening to while running. I started thinking- DUDE I AM miserable. Why on earth did I sign up for this? It seemed like a good idea at the time... ;) Just made me think how important the attitude and MIND is. If I sit in class thinking how miserable I am... or how much Im learning- BIG difference.

The climax/disaster in the race happened at mile 5. My headphones for my ipod severed and died! Talk about discouraging. I INSTANTLY stopped running to try and fix it to no avail. This is when the mental game really picked up. Just quit now. Forget it. I was walking at the water station when the girl who was a part of our team that had fallen behind initially caught up to me. It was such a relief to see her and to have a buddy to help get through the rest of the race together! I honestly am not sure if I would have started running again if it wasn't for her. I need people and friends to push me/keep me accountable! She also produced some magic energy beans at mile 10 that enabled us to get to the finish line.

My sister had made us wear these crazy outfits (ie hot pink knee socks) and post verses and motivational quotes on our back. Mine was- the best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer everybody else up. SO TRUE. (maybe a little WEAK- I mean the best way to encourage yourself is with the Word but hey) The more I cheered for the people around me- the more I could push it and the happier I got. Also the socks really helped us stand out- and all the crowd was yelling- I like your socks! or Go socks! ;) wow.

Basically, the moral of my tale: encouragement is key against discouragement and lies.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." -Eph 4:29

so true

2008-08-27T17:14:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Edwards once said that godly people can, as it were, smell the depravity of an act before they can explain why it is evil. There is a spiritual sense that something is amiss. It does not fit in a world permeated with God. Ephesians 5:3 says that some things “are not fitting” among saints.” “Fitting-ness” is not always easy to justify with arguments. You discern it before you can defend it. That’s good, because we have to make hundreds of choices every day with no time for extended reflection. But from time to time we need to pause and give rational, biblical expression why something is not fitting.

Heresy?

2008-08-26T14:56:00.000-07:00

So Im not really sure if this post will be theologically sound or not... and its again not an analogy. Feel free to comment or disagree. ;) I really feel like this was what God revealed to me this morning, but edification and refinement is always welcome and needed!

So I have been riding into school super early with my dear roommate, and I have been joining her in memorizing Philippians on the way. Today we started in chapter 2. After arriving at MCV, waiting for class to start, I was meditating on the rest of the chapter.
I got to verse 4, which says, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." In the margin of my Bible I had written out next to this verse- selflessness.

However, as I was meditating this morning- it really struck me that that I don't think that is really what this verse is saying. It is not saying selflessness... it is saying in addition to... look NOT ONLY to my interests, BUT ALSO to yours.

Not that I am justifying selfiSHness either, but it made me feel a little better.
Addendum:
Because of context, the next verse (calling me to have the SAME attitude as Christ, really in fact does make a call to selflessness) My pastor made a great call addition/observation to this post. He thinks that Paul is assuming that we will always be looking out for our own needs, but the part of the command we need to battle with is to also look out for others needs.

He related it to the analogy of 1 Tim 4:8 which I thought was very fitting. People take that verse to mean that physical discipline is of no value which is not what it says. This verse doesn't mean its wrong to look out for our own needs, but the call is to put others first.

Those who honor me I will honor...

2008-08-22T09:20:00.001-07:00

I am SO excited to blog about this right now. ;) It is just an awesome testimony to the Lord, when I really struggled with doing the right thing.

SO I have a student membership to the local YMCA that is only $18 a month compared to the normal $40-50 dollars a month rate. The requirements are that you have to be a full time student with at least 12 credits (easily met- Im taking 21 grad credits this semester) and you need to be between the ages of 18-23.

I am 24 (yeah baby), however, since I signed up for this membership when I first moved to Richmond and was 23, they were still just deducting $18 a month from my checking account. After moving to the Southside last month to a different Y, I started to feel convicted that I should tell them that I was 24 now and shouldn't still be getting the student rate. BUT with the conviction also came the justification- Im still a student, Im on loan money, I can't afford $50 a month, they don't really care... you can see how my mind could go on and on.

The analogy that came to mind is from one of my professors at Liberty. This analogy has proven faithful to me over and over. EVERY time it comes to my mind, it makes me realize how stupid my own justification is. My professor, Dr. Ed. Barker, always used to say- 'Your integrity is not worth a chocolate chip cookie.' Meaning that we are so easily tempted to trade our integrity for something SO SMALL and trivial. We so often trade that which is of the utmost value to that which is of no value at all (or at least perishing/fleeting value). It is never worth compromising your integrity to save $2 on your grocery bill, or for me to save $30 a month on a Y bill... forget it. So sheepishly I decided to do the right thing and tell the Y.

AND HERE IS THE BEST PART! I love it so much because this is how God works! ;) This afternoon I called the YMCA and explained to them my age dilemma... and that they need to change my monthly membership fee and the girl on the phone said that I actually qualify for a different membership bracket and my new rate is only going to be $10 a month! ;)
I love it.
Thank you Lord for the positive reinforcement to do hard things. Whether we see the reward in this life or the next- it is always worth it.

Not really an analogy...

2008-08-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

The analogies are still swimming in my head, but I have not felt pressed to write about them recently.

A dear friend of mine recently challenged me with something her pastor had mentioned about the miracle of the floating axe head in 2 Kings 6.

She said- God put this miracle in the Bible for a reason. What does he want to teach us thru this? For the past few days it has made me a little more heightened as I am reading. Sometimes you really wonder- why on earth does he mention this? What is the point?

If I can't figure it out from the context, I turn to Mr. Matthew Henry's commentary.
Today it was the 'Death in the pot' story from 2 Kings 4:38-41

One thing Matthew Henry said about these scriptures really brought a smile to my face:
"The sons of the prophets, it seems, were better skilled in divinity than in natural philosophy, and read their Bibles more than their herbals."

The prophet may have been a poor cook, he might not have known how to season soup, and he may have even cooked up poison without even knowing it! But he was more knowlegeable about the Word of God then he was about the plants and the herbs. Isn't it tempting to want to be wise in the ways of the world? To want to be skilled or knowledgeable about many different things, whatever it may be?
Fleeting.

“Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-29

Spurgeon Says...

2008-08-13T19:01:00.001-07:00

Bounteous is Jehovah in his nature; to give is his delight. His gifts are beyond measure precious, and are as freely given as the light of the sun. He gives grace to his elect because he wills it, to his redeemed because of his covenant, to the called because of his promise, to believers because they seek it, to sinners because they need it. He gives grace abundantly, seasonably, constantly, readily, sovereignly; doubly enhancing the value of the boon by the manner of its bestowal. Grace in all its forms he freely renders to his people: comforting, preserving, sanctifying, directing, instructing, assisting grace, he generously pours into their souls without ceasing, and he always will do so, whatever may occur. Sickness may befall, but the Lord will give grace; poverty may happen to us, but grace will surely be afforded; death must come but grace will light a candle at the darkest hour.

Thank you

2008-07-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

Do you think the desire to 'pay people back' is an innate sin-nature trait, an innate God-given trait, or a learned-by-society trait?

Im not sure... I know it is partly pride but I wonder if it is originally a God-given trait that has been tainted by pride... or originally a sin-nature trait we have to combat.

There is a couple in my church who have given me so much it is ridiculous. They are constantly giving-giving-giving and it is embarassing! I honestly feel like avoiding it or just not mentioning anything because I don't want them to give me anything else! Being needy is truly not a comfortable situation for most of us. I have been thinking constantly how I can show them my gratitude? Should I buy them a gift card? I feel like a thank you card doesn't have value because Id have to give them one every day and it loses its meaning.

This is how we are before God. We can never ever pay him back! This is why grace is such a hard concept for us and we'd prefer a works salvation because then at least I did something for it! With God, our desire to give back is like slipping someone a buck who just saved your life. 'Here- go have a cup of coffee on me.' Ludicrous. I remember listening to a Piper sermon where he talked about the line in Come though Fount- "O to Grace how great a debtor daily Im constrained to be..." Every day I get further and further indebted!

How can I show God thanks?

"How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people." -Psalm 116:12-14

What is Faith?

2008-07-30T08:50:00.001-07:00

This morning I attempted to teach swim lessons to an 8 and a 9 year old girl who were afraid of drowning and didn't know how to swim. One of the little girls wouldn't even try... She had almost drowned once and her fear had completely immobilized her. No matter how much I assured her that I wouldn't let go of her, her fear of drowning was greater than her faith in my words.

This analogy could go many ways. One way that I will leave open for you is that despite her fear she REALLY wanted to learn how to swim. When we left she was almost in tears because she didn't get to really try to swim because she refused to do all the things I asked her to. I sat down with her before we left and asked her if she would try next time and if she really did want to learn how to swim. I have been told before that you will do whatever you desire more... if you desire to be thin more than you desire the chocolate cake- your actions will follow accordingly. If your desire to swim is greater than your fear- you will do what it takes to learn. To that argument many have produced the example Paul sets forth in Romans 7 about conflicting desires. When I asked this little girl- which is stronger, your desire to swim or your fear of the water? And she adamantly shouted BOTH! Infer what you will.

I want to expound on the faith issue. Today I read in Luke 7 about the faith of the centurion. In my opinion, faith is a very hard concept to define. Hence why God gave us an entire chapter of what faith looks like analogies in Hebrews 11. In Luke 7, Jesus says this is the greatest example of faith He's seen in all of Israel. The centurion recognizes the absolute power of Christ and places himself wholeheartedly (and humbly!) under his authority.

Side note: I LOVE the centurion's attitude and I know Christ did as well. In verse 4, the people all come to Jesus and say (Vanesa paraphrase version)- this man DESERVES you to heal his servant- he loves his nation and has even given the money to build our entire church building! WHOA. ;) The centurion however says, "Lord I don't even deserve to have you enter my home!"

Lord keep me in an attitude of humble faith! Recognizing how underserving I am of all your graces. No matter how much I could ever give or do... it is so small! I deserve death.

"Therefore since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this GRACE in which we now stand." -Romans 5:1-2

Beautiful Sovereign Grace song entitled GRACE UPON GRACE. My favorite of the day:

You have ordained every breath we take
In pleasure or pain, there is no mistake
Gladness and grief, both are in Your hand
And sufferings brief carry out Your plan
And our fleeting sorrows will yield an endless prize
When some bright tomorrow we’ll see You with our eyes,
****************
Grace upon grace flows down, flows down
Grace upon grace flows down, flows down
Through the precious blood of Christ.
****************
Father of lights, Giver of all grace
Your mercies crown our lives all our days.
River of Life, quench our thirsty souls
For no true delight does Your love withhold.
And in every season we are satisfied
For just one reason- Christ was crucified

Bouquet Toss

2008-07-27T19:00:00.001-07:00

This morning in church I was talking to a few dear friends of mine who went to a wedding last night. One of the lovely single ladies had caught the bride's bouquet during the toss. Since she was quite obviously less than thrilled, I probed a little deeper.

It was really funny to hear them tell the story. For anonymity sake, we will call them Andrea and Margaret. ;) We will say Margaret was the one who caught the bouquet.

So you have all been to weddings where several girls parade out to the floor to cat fight, kick, and claw over the flying floral arrangement. Having been to quite a few weddings, Margaret has caught one of these fight-for-your-life bouquets before. This wedding was far the exception. Only 4 single girls dragged themselves out to the floor for this bouquet toss. Sheepish and embarrassed, Margaret and Andrea definitely did not do any reaching or body-blocking when this bouquet was tossed. It hit the floor first... then Margaret shamefully extended an arm to pick it up.

Funny how something that Margaret had previously gloated in became an object of shame?
Hello S-I-N.

"What benefit did you reap from the things that you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!" -Romans 6:21

Canadian Geese

2008-07-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

Today I almost ran over 3 canadian geese just marching along in front of my house... they have been overly domesticated from the consistent feeding of my neighbors and now no longer know to STAY OUT OF THE ROAD.
Especially when I'm driving. ;)

While in the Grand Canyon, we found squirrels who had the same perilous problem. The rangers said they have had to shoot 21 deer in 2008 alone! The deer have become so dependent on food from the humans that they no longer know how to find their own food in nature.

This is analogous to MANY things in our lives... but I think the most convicting is in regard to our desensitization. There is a couple at my church who continually sharpens me, and they are so far removed from the world that things still shock them. We have become so intertwined with the things of the world that not only does it not seem bad, we don't even remember what it was like to desire the pure spiritual milk of the Word more than the imitations the world feeds us!

One of the ways they have opened my eyes is in the area of modesty. They will look at something and have to look away or be embarrased as I am sitting there like WHAT? What is wrong with it?
Sick.
Lord open the eyes of my heart to recognize the pretty treats and lures of the world are disguised graves bringing shame! All praise to my creator who knows how to feed me best!

"Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious! But little do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of the grave." -Proverbs 9:17-18

Feast or Famine?

2008-07-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

My mind is currently full of these analogies (hence the reason for starting the blog)...

I recently backpacked a few days in the Grand Canyon with a dear friend of mine (Kata holla). Amid the scoffs of those who found us foolish for facing the desert in July, we had an amazing time.

We did hit the usual low point, however, this time on day #2. During July, the national park service guidelines are to avoid hiking between 10 am-4 pm each day because of the high risk of heat exhaustion and dehydration. We started hiking that day at 6 am, and aside from a short break from 10-11 at the gorgeous Ribbon Falls, we were hiking in the heat of mid-day and OUT OF WATER. Around 1:30 pm, the headaches begin and the grouchiness ensues, but we are foolishly determined to press on. By the grace of God, we made it to our destination in mostly one piece, got water and attempted to cool off the best we could.

So where is the analogy?

The minor detail I left out of the above description is that for almost the entire hike back that day, our trail was about a stone's throw away from the river. Gorgeous blue, cool, running water, well within reach (with a little effort) but we were determined to forge on without it.

It just really reminded me how often we go through our days ignoring the stream of LIVING water. It is totally within reach, requiring some effort but not unattainable amounts, but we choose to do without it.

"O Lord, the HOPE of Israel, all who forsake you will be put to shame. Those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the Lord, the spring of living water." -Jeremiah 17:13

Post #1

2008-07-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

Today in church, my pastor talked about how in Nehemiah the people created BOOTHS on top of their homes and lived in them for 7 days as a symbol to remind them of God's provision, grace, and restoration. (Nehemiah 8:14-18) I won't rehash his whole sermon, but you can check it out at http://www.gracebiblerichmond.org/

He also talked about how the people used to wear coats made of itchy, skin irritating fabric to be a constant reminder to them of the disgusting nature of their sin.

I am currently reading through Ezekiel and the whole book is basically an analogy. God puts the prophet Ezekiel through amazing trials in order to try and help his people truly UNDERSTAND a picture of the message he wants to send them. The Lord even kills Ezekiels wife in chapter 24 to show the people he will take away their heart's delight and joy!
Unreal.