I have been WRESTLING lately with so much SIN!
Such a sinful girl and so unaware of it until very recently... o the extent of my depravity! These respectable DAILY sins and things I am so accostomed to doing without conviction.
Our heavenly Father SEES what is done in secret and rewards us accordingly.
He is also a jealous God... of ANYTHING that I love more than Him.
Any thing I want more than I want to obey Him....
Do I want to speed or send and read text messages rather than obey His Word when he tells me to submit to the governing authorities?
Do I want to complain and vent rather than obey His Word when he tells me to do everything without complaining? O but I really just need to right now... I want to.
Do I want to slouch, criticize, text and talk through class rather than be a light in a dark place and walk displaying a changed heart? Or are my unregenerate classmates more honoring in their behavior?
Do I want just something else to munch on more than I desire to display His Spirits fruit in my life and be self controlled? Do I desire buying an afternoon coffee or treat more than I desire to honor Him with my finances?
Do I want to hug and hold my wonderful fiance just one minute more or do I want to keep myself from even a hint of sexual immorality, help him, and keep my thoughts on Phil 4:8- what is PURE and lovely, honorable and fitting???
O these questions! O these areas that have LONG been inconsistencies in my life in need of addressing... I am GLAD to serve a jealous God who doesn't want me to want these fleeting pleasures more than I desire to obey His wonderful Word!
I have been SAVED out of this wretched behavior that I maintain for so long. The conviction is here.... Please encourage me, do not let me be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin in these small areas. May I CHOOSE to obey God and never choose the fleeting pleasure of sin.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
awww Tim....
This morning getting ready- I was listening to Tim McGraw sing about the problem we all face with our sin nature.... Tim blames it and says- 'I Guess thats just the cowboy in me..." It honestly made me SAD to hear it... It shows the gospel and the law of God is written on the hearts of men, but what is the conclusion of man apart from the revalation of truth in the Word? No Tim, its not the cowboy in you, its the SINNER in you! Its the sinful nature in all of us, our natural bent that we are no longer enslaved to because of the glorious news of the gospel!
"We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin." (Rom 6:6)
Tim McGraw- The Cowboy in Me
I don't know why I act the way I do
Like I aint got a single thing to lose
Sometimes Im my own worst enemy
I guess thats just the cowboy in me
I got a life that most would love to have
But sometimes I still wake up fighting mad
At where this road Im heading down might lead
I guess thats just the cowboy in me
The urge to run, the restlessness
The heart of stone I sometimes get
The things Ive done for foolish pride
The me thats never satisfied
The face thats in the mirror when I dont like what I see
I guess thats just the cowboy in me
"We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin." (Rom 6:6)
Tim McGraw- The Cowboy in Me
I don't know why I act the way I do
Like I aint got a single thing to lose
Sometimes Im my own worst enemy
I guess thats just the cowboy in me
I got a life that most would love to have
But sometimes I still wake up fighting mad
At where this road Im heading down might lead
I guess thats just the cowboy in me
The urge to run, the restlessness
The heart of stone I sometimes get
The things Ive done for foolish pride
The me thats never satisfied
The face thats in the mirror when I dont like what I see
I guess thats just the cowboy in me
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
No God but Allah???
1 Cor 8:6
"Yet for us there is but ONE God, the Father, from whom all things came and FOR whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and THROUGH whom we live!"
I seriously want to write a song. O LORD there is no one like you!
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-nAdVWDtmU&feature=related
"Yet for us there is but ONE God, the Father, from whom all things came and FOR whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and THROUGH whom we live!"
I seriously want to write a song. O LORD there is no one like you!
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-nAdVWDtmU&feature=related
Sunday, August 2, 2009
This is beautiful.
"For all things are yours. Whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future- all are yours, and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's." (1 Cor 3:21-22)
Matthew Henry says:
Observe the spiritual riches of a true believer: All are yours, even ministers and ordinances. Nay the world itself is yours. Saints have as much of it as Infinite Wisdom sees fit for them. Life is yours, that you may have season and opportunity to prepare for heaven, and death is yours, that you may go to the possession of it. Things present are yours, to support you on the road; and things to come are yours, to delight you forever at your journey's end. If we belong to Christ, and are true to Him- all good things belong to us. God in Christ, reconciling a sinful world to himself, and pouring out the riches of his grace on the reconciled world, is the sum and substance of the gospel.
Matthew Henry says:
Observe the spiritual riches of a true believer: All are yours, even ministers and ordinances. Nay the world itself is yours. Saints have as much of it as Infinite Wisdom sees fit for them. Life is yours, that you may have season and opportunity to prepare for heaven, and death is yours, that you may go to the possession of it. Things present are yours, to support you on the road; and things to come are yours, to delight you forever at your journey's end. If we belong to Christ, and are true to Him- all good things belong to us. God in Christ, reconciling a sinful world to himself, and pouring out the riches of his grace on the reconciled world, is the sum and substance of the gospel.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Im engaged!
"If we are faithless, He remains faithful for he cannot deny himself." (2 Tim 2:13)
I got engaged this past Sunday, July 5th! WOW- what a privilege. I have since been contemplating marriage and reading a little about unfaithful brides (Ezekial 16, Jeremiah 3, Hosea 2...) Faithfulness is a beautiful thing to study and maybe one of the strongest attributes of God that we often miss. He IS faithfulness, regardless of our halfhearted committment. I hope to be a faithful bride to my new husband and also to my first husband, Christ!
OK, so the brides. ;) They all have in common that they have THE perfect husband, but they are still not content!
"Thus says the Lord- What wrong did your fathers find in me that they went far from me, and went after worthlessness and became worthless?" (Jeremiah 2:5)
Not a thing wrong! IMPOSSIBLE! Christ is the only perfect man who STILL cannot keep our attention. We are SICK people. I love Jer 3:19- it is a SIN for us to forsake seeking Him! "Know and see that it is evil and bitter for you to forsake the Lord your God."
They are filled with needs, lusts, and idolatry. In Hosea 2- 'For she said- I will go after my lovers who give me my bread and my water, my wool, and my flax, my oil and my drink..." Forsaking the fountain of LIVING water for these lovers, forsaking food that truly SATISFIES (Isaiah 55:1-2) God please make me filled, satisfied, and content with you alone.
THIS is love:
"Go again, loving a woman who is an adulterous, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, thought they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins." (Hosea 3:1)
Lord... this love blows my mind.... May I remember your undying, faithful, covenant love forever and ever. May I sing praise to you and have a heart that draws near to you! Amen.
SO FUNNY! Right after I wrote this, I checked out a friends blog and she had this O SO FITTING sermon posted from Piper entitled- The tragic cost of her cavernous thirst. Check it out: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2009/3999/
I got engaged this past Sunday, July 5th! WOW- what a privilege. I have since been contemplating marriage and reading a little about unfaithful brides (Ezekial 16, Jeremiah 3, Hosea 2...) Faithfulness is a beautiful thing to study and maybe one of the strongest attributes of God that we often miss. He IS faithfulness, regardless of our halfhearted committment. I hope to be a faithful bride to my new husband and also to my first husband, Christ!
OK, so the brides. ;) They all have in common that they have THE perfect husband, but they are still not content!
"Thus says the Lord- What wrong did your fathers find in me that they went far from me, and went after worthlessness and became worthless?" (Jeremiah 2:5)
Not a thing wrong! IMPOSSIBLE! Christ is the only perfect man who STILL cannot keep our attention. We are SICK people. I love Jer 3:19- it is a SIN for us to forsake seeking Him! "Know and see that it is evil and bitter for you to forsake the Lord your God."
They are filled with needs, lusts, and idolatry. In Hosea 2- 'For she said- I will go after my lovers who give me my bread and my water, my wool, and my flax, my oil and my drink..." Forsaking the fountain of LIVING water for these lovers, forsaking food that truly SATISFIES (Isaiah 55:1-2) God please make me filled, satisfied, and content with you alone.
THIS is love:
"Go again, loving a woman who is an adulterous, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, thought they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins." (Hosea 3:1)
Lord... this love blows my mind.... May I remember your undying, faithful, covenant love forever and ever. May I sing praise to you and have a heart that draws near to you! Amen.
SO FUNNY! Right after I wrote this, I checked out a friends blog and she had this O SO FITTING sermon posted from Piper entitled- The tragic cost of her cavernous thirst. Check it out: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2009/3999/
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
You just don't understand!!!
The next time I say or think that statement to myself, Im going to instantly repent... and hopefully LAUGH at my own foolishness out in the open.
Understanding IS awesome... and I think thats why the Lord gives us little glimpes of it. When I work full time, I can sympathize with my roommate or friends or future husband when he comes home tired. When I have children, I can sympathize with the new mothers not getting any time to get things done... But I will never be able to fully understand. AND I will NEVER EVER be able to understand the suffering my Savior went through on the cross... the rejection, the pain, the physical torture, the alienation from God. No wonder we were destined for trials- so we can have the tiniest glimpse of pain producing true APPRECIATION.
I was able to go for a run this evening (Praise God- seriously, nothing recharges me and fires me up to keep going quite like it. I really feel like God speaks to me as I run...) and the Lord just flooded me with conviction. I have been going around telling everyone who will listen-(complaining) 'Well I have been having to wake up at 5 am! And not get much sleep and then work hard all day without a break...'
STOP and think Vanesa! About my boyfriend who went like a week getting 2-3 hrs of sleep, my roommate who didn't sleep at ALL last night, John and Jamie not getting any sleep because of crying babies from 2-5 am, my poor sweet MOTHER who never sleeps through the night because of her back pain...
Its such a popular lie of the devil- he really wants us to think that we are by ourselves and no one has it as bad off as we do- self pity... We pity ourselves and we think, if they only truly understood my situation, they would pity me too! I have it so much harder than they do... they don't even understand what its like. When we ALL have trials, whatever the age, whatever the season- EVERY human has a 'hard' life. "I have seen the burden God has laid upon man..." (Ecc) I was talking to a friend whos mom thinks that they have the perfect life... I wonder how many times people have looked and me and thought that...
The devil wants us to put ourselves on a pedestal- whether its in how great we have it or how hard we have it- EITHER one is a lie.
"When they compare themselves by themselves- they are unwise!" -2 Cor 10:12
Forgive me Lord!
Understanding IS awesome... and I think thats why the Lord gives us little glimpes of it. When I work full time, I can sympathize with my roommate or friends or future husband when he comes home tired. When I have children, I can sympathize with the new mothers not getting any time to get things done... But I will never be able to fully understand. AND I will NEVER EVER be able to understand the suffering my Savior went through on the cross... the rejection, the pain, the physical torture, the alienation from God. No wonder we were destined for trials- so we can have the tiniest glimpse of pain producing true APPRECIATION.
I was able to go for a run this evening (Praise God- seriously, nothing recharges me and fires me up to keep going quite like it. I really feel like God speaks to me as I run...) and the Lord just flooded me with conviction. I have been going around telling everyone who will listen-(complaining) 'Well I have been having to wake up at 5 am! And not get much sleep and then work hard all day without a break...'
STOP and think Vanesa! About my boyfriend who went like a week getting 2-3 hrs of sleep, my roommate who didn't sleep at ALL last night, John and Jamie not getting any sleep because of crying babies from 2-5 am, my poor sweet MOTHER who never sleeps through the night because of her back pain...
Its such a popular lie of the devil- he really wants us to think that we are by ourselves and no one has it as bad off as we do- self pity... We pity ourselves and we think, if they only truly understood my situation, they would pity me too! I have it so much harder than they do... they don't even understand what its like. When we ALL have trials, whatever the age, whatever the season- EVERY human has a 'hard' life. "I have seen the burden God has laid upon man..." (Ecc) I was talking to a friend whos mom thinks that they have the perfect life... I wonder how many times people have looked and me and thought that...
The devil wants us to put ourselves on a pedestal- whether its in how great we have it or how hard we have it- EITHER one is a lie.
"When they compare themselves by themselves- they are unwise!" -2 Cor 10:12
Forgive me Lord!
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